Some say that young people should take a break between school and university to go travelling and learn more about the world. Others say that it is better for them to go straight to university from school, and then go travelling when they have finished their studies. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
These days, it is very common for young people to take time off studying between
school
and university
. Many of them go travelling and spend a year or longer visiting interesting and exotic places. However
, is it better to do this
, or to continue studying without a break?
First of all, there are several benefits to taking time off to travel. As well as
meeting lots of interesting people, you can also
experience cultures that are very different from your own. I believe that first-hand knowledge and experience of the world around you early n
life are useful things to have. Correct your spelling
in
Furthermore
, you learn to look after yourself in different and often difficult situations. While
few people have serious problems when they travel, you will occasionally encounter situations where you need to think and act quickly without having friends or family to turn to. Unfortunately, travelling has its disadvantages as well, such
as homesickness and culture shock. thisDespite
Correct your spelling
Despite
, these
inconveniences are an inevitable part of travelling and are greatly outweighed by the advantages.
The main reason for going straight to Correct pronoun usage
this, these
university
after school
is the fact that the sooner you get qualifications, the quicker you can get a job and start earning. For me, starting work and making money is one of the most important things in life. I am not alone in this
opinion. Many consider a sound career and a good salary to be one of life’s most important goals. Secondly
, if you go straight to university
, you learn so many things that will help you in your future life. Finally
, going straight to university
from school
means that you maintain a momentum that you might lose if you go travelling. In other words
, you remain focused on studying.
To summarise, I would say that spending a year travelling between school
and university
has its advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand , you are seeing something of the world. On the other hand
, you are delaying your education and career. In my opinion, it is better to carry on with your studies,
and leave the travelling until later.Remove the comma
apply
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task achievement
Include more concrete examples to support the arguments. For instance, mention a friend's gap year experience or a specific case of employment post-university.
coherence cohesion
Check for small grammatical mistakes like 'thisDespite' which should be separated (despite this).
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize the discussion and present a personal opinion.
task achievement
Arguments for both sides of the topic are well-presented with balanced and insightful points.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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