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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.
The line graph compares the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the us.
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 during 1980 and 2030 from a 2008 report.
Overall
Linking Words
,there was a
divergency
Replace the word
divergence
show examples
 between
traditonal
Correct your spelling
traditional
energy
Use synonyms
 and new
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
.Traditional
energe
Correct your spelling
energy
,
such
Linking Words
 as
Petrol
Use synonyms
 and Oil,Coal, has a rapidly increasing
,
Check wording
trend,while
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while
Linking Words
nature
Replace the word
natural
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 gas
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
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up
Change preposition
apply
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slightly. New
energy
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as Nuclear,Solar and Wind,climbed steadily,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Hydropower
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
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 stable . In 1980,
traditonal
Correct your spelling
traditional
energy
Use synonyms
 usage
had
Verb problem
was at
show examples
 a higher level than new
energy
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.
the
Use the right word
The petrol
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Petrol
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 and Oil usage
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reach
Replace the word
reached
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to
Change preposition
apply
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35
quadrillion
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units
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Coal and Natural Gas were spent at 20 and 16
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,New
energy
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 had the same expenditure
about
Change preposition
of about
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 4
quadrillion
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units
Use synonyms
. From 1980 to 1985,
Petrol
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 and Oi,Coal were
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 by 5
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 at the same time,
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 the lowest point
,
Punctuation problem
. Moreover
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moreover
Linking Words
,Nuclear,Solar and Wind,Hydropower saw a
steadily
Replace the word
steady
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 rise
up
Rephrase
apply
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.By 2030,the
consumption
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 of
Petrol
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 and Oil will reach 46
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
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,almost 5 times larger than new
energy
Use synonyms
.Coal will reach 30
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 and surpass the Natural Gas expenditure.
meanwhile
Fix capitalization
Meanwhile
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,Nuclear,Solar and Wind
consumption
Use synonyms
 will become twice
of
Correct determiner usage
that of
show examples
 the Hydropower.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, consumption, petrol, quadrillion, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Renewable resources
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Fossil fuels
  • Nuclear power
  • Hydroelectric power
  • Solar energy
  • Wind energy
  • Biomass
  • Consumption patterns
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Sustainable development
  • Carbon footprint
  • Energy policy
  • Projections
  • Decade
  • Significant shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Environmental impact
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