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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.
The line chart illustrates the energy consumption in the USA with projects over
decades
Correct article usage
the decades
show examples
. The data consists of both the
history
Replace the word
historical
show examples
 information after 1980 and the future projections up to 2030. In general, the US.
energy
Fix capitalization
Energy
show examples
 consumption by fuel showed an increasing trend.
This
Linking Words
 feature was represented in almost every kind of
resources
Fix the agreement mistake
resource
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is projected to keep the trend in the future. Different Energy consumption can be separated
within
Change preposition
into
show examples
 three levels
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 the
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 up to down. Throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history, the
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 of petrol and oil had always been
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
level
Use synonyms
 A and kept increasing in general despite a small decline in 1985 and 1995. The
level
Use synonyms
 B
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
consisted of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coal and natural gas
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
level
Use synonyms
 C was made up
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower. The quantities of
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 of
level
Use synonyms
 A and
level
Use synonyms
 B increased rapidly
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 in
level
Use synonyms
C
Punctuation problem
C,
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it
grown
Wrong verb form
grew
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 moderately. More specific features include that the
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 of Natural gas and the hydropower are projected to
be fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuate
show examples
 around 23 and 3
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words quadrillion, units, level with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Renewable resources
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Fossil fuels
  • Nuclear power
  • Hydroelectric power
  • Solar energy
  • Wind energy
  • Biomass
  • Consumption patterns
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Sustainable development
  • Carbon footprint
  • Energy policy
  • Projections
  • Decade
  • Significant shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Environmental impact
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