IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.
The line chart contrasts historical data on
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption from 1980 in the USA and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 projections to 2030 , from a report in 2008. Generally ,almost every
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
has
show examples
 improved and will keep rising until
2030
Punctuation problem
2030,
show examples
expect
Verb problem
except for
show examples
 hydro power ,
while
Linking Words
 the consumption
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 petrol and oil remains
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 highest level across the entire period. Petrol and oil ,coal and natural gas
accounts
Fix the agreement mistake
account
show examples
 for traditional
Use synonyms
energy
Punctuation problem
energy,
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
which has
show examples
 taken over half of
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
.Particularly ,petrol and oil emissions
were got
Verb problem
ranked
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first rank of 35
quadrillion
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a peak
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 approximately 50
quadrillion
Use synonyms
 in 2030.Coal and natural gas spent 15
quadrillion
Use synonyms
 and 20
quadrillion
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 1980 and showed only a slight difference until 2030. New
energy
Use synonyms
 sources
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 nuclear ,solar/wind and hydro power
account
Punctuation problem
, account
show examples
 for a
rarely
Rephrase
relatively
show examples
 in
energy
Use synonyms
 cost.They all got
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same value at around 5
quadrillion
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and will not
over
Verb problem
go over
show examples
 10
quadrillion
Use synonyms
 in 2030
according to
Linking Words
 the prediction.Hydro power is the lowest among all
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 showing a little decrease.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, quadrillion with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Renewable resources
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Fossil fuels
  • Nuclear power
  • Hydroelectric power
  • Solar energy
  • Wind energy
  • Biomass
  • Consumption patterns
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Sustainable development
  • Carbon footprint
  • Energy policy
  • Projections
  • Decade
  • Significant shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Environmental impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: