IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Wealthy countries should accept more refuge and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the number of
refugees
Use synonyms
 fleeing conflict, persecution, and poverty has risen dramatically.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that wealthier nations have a moral duty to accept and support more
refugees
Use synonyms
, others contend that
such
Linking Words
 responsibilities should not be imposed. Personally, I strongly agree that affluent
countries
Use synonyms
 should take greater responsibility by accommodating more
refugees
Use synonyms
 and offering them essential support
such
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 as food and housing. First and foremost, wealthier nations often have the resources and infrastructure to manage an increase in refugee populations. Many developed
countries
Use synonyms
 enjoy stable economies, robust welfare systems, and
well-organized
Use the right word
well-organised
show examples
 administrative capacities. These advantages enable them to provide the basic necessities of life—shelter, food, and healthcare—without significantly straining national budgets.
For example
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, Germany has successfully integrated over a million Syrian
refugees
Use synonyms
 in recent years, showing that large-scale humanitarian assistance is achievable with sufficient planning and investment.
Moreover
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, offering aid to
refugees
Use synonyms
 aligns with international human rights obligations and moral responsibility.
Refugees
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 are often victims of circumstances beyond their control,
such
Linking Words
 as war or persecution. Turning them away contradicts the principles of humanity and solidarity that many wealthy nations claim to uphold. By sharing the burden more equitably, developed
countries
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 can promote global stability and reduce the strain on
neighboring
Use the right word
neighbouring
show examples
 developing
countries
Use synonyms
, which often bear the brunt of refugee crises. In conclusion, I firmly believe that wealthy
countries
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 should do more to support
refugees
Use synonyms
 by accepting greater numbers and ensuring they receive basic assistance.
This
Linking Words
 approach not only reflects moral and humanitarian values but
also
Linking Words
 contributes to a more balanced and compassionate global community.

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear main idea and stays on topic. You addressed the question well by stating your opinion about refugees.
coherence and cohesion
You organized your ideas clearly. Use linking words better to connect sentences and paragraphs for smoother reading.
task achievement
In your examples, more specific details or statistics could strengthen your points and show a deeper understanding.
task achievement
You presented a strong opinion and provided clear reasons to support it.
task achievement
Your use of examples, like the situation in Germany, shows a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian obligation
  • Financial resources
  • Infrastructure
  • Labor shortages
  • Essential services
  • International human rights conventions
  • Social cohesion
  • Cultural diversity
  • Public services
  • Inclusive practices
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