IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries nowadays,consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world.Do you think it is a positive or negative development ? Give reasons for the answer and include any relevant examples from your own experiences.

In recent times,customers are more inclined towards visiting supermarkets to purchase
food
Use synonyms
 produced from all over the world.I concur that it is a positive development as it will foster international trade between all countries.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,it is
also
Linking Words
 a golden opportunity for farmers. On the one hand,the growth of
food
Use synonyms
 exchange will directly influence the import and export of every country.With the development of trade,mutual respect towards each other starts rising since all of them are interdependent on each other.
This
Linking Words
 will enhance international marketing , which will be a great learning platform for all individuals.Everyone can learn from each other's cultures and work to bring the best out of everything.
Similarly
Linking Words
,it will help to improve the economic status of farmers,which will indirectly assist in the development of the country.
This
Linking Words
 system will encourage farmers to grow suitable crops in the feasible
land
Use synonyms
 rather than working hard to grow all varieties of
food
Use synonyms
 to meet the demands of society.
For example
Linking Words
,the
land
Use synonyms
 in the terai region is suitable for growing rice,maize ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
land
Use synonyms
 of the mountain region is best for growing potatoes,apples , etc.If
food
Use synonyms
 supply becomes easy, it would be more beneficial to grow
food
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 the
land
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 suitable for it
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
show examples
 than trying to cultivate rice in the Himalayan region.Different types of
land
Use synonyms
 in the world are known for producing varieties of
food
Use synonyms
 , and
this
Linking Words
 will be assisted if every country starts supplying the products that are enormously cultivated in their regions. In conclusion,Consumers must be encouraged to buy foods from the supermarket that are sourced from countries around the world.
This
Linking Words
 will not only allow us to eat healthy
food
Use synonyms
 produced with fewer pesticides,but it will
also
Linking Words
 encourage every farmer to cultivate crops
accordingly
Linking Words
 in the
land
Use synonyms
 where they can be produced with less effort and more organically.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to add more detail to your points to make them clearer and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences support that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'for example', 'therefore', 'moreover'.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and support it throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: