IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology. which will help prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent
years
Use synonyms
,
technology
Use synonyms
 has become more and more developed, with anticipation of it becoming a great source which we can rely on in our work lives. Many claim that in a few
years
Use synonyms
,
technology
Use synonyms
 will help solve
crimes
Use synonyms
 in an easier way and even prevent them from happening at all. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and will explain my opinion in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 will make crime-solving easier since it's a massive
information
Use synonyms
 source. Computer-based systems are able to collect every piece of
information
Use synonyms
 about every single person in the world and accurately connect relevant pieces. It has no limit of
information
Use synonyms
 it can gather up in
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 system, other than humans who can only collect a limited number of details.
As a result
Linking Words
, having a computerised "detective partner" work with humans on a certain case can be much easier, since it already has a large amount of knowledge.
For example
Linking Words
, experts claim that in around five
years
Use synonyms
, AI (= artificial intelligence) will know every single piece of
information
Use synonyms
 about every citizen in the world, and with the quality of self-thought skill that AI has, it can simply impact every case solving and improve its process.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
crimes
Use synonyms
 will become faster to solve thanks to working with a computer rather than a man. Every person has emotional and physical needs,
such
Linking Words
 as the need for food and water, eight hours of sleep and time for leisure to spend with their families.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, computers have no needs and will be able to work all day and night long, with no distractions.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it will make crime-solving faster by at least half of the normal time it usually takes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, having
crimes
Use synonyms
 solved easily will affect people in a psychological way and will prevent committing
crimes
Use synonyms
 in the first place. Since computers are expected to develop throughout the
years
Use synonyms
 and
suppose
Wrong verb form
are supposed
show examples
 to
make
Verb problem
solve
show examples
 every crime
solved
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, people would not want to risk their future and commit fidelities, since they know they will be caught.
As a result
Linking Words
, the psychological effects of knowing you will get caught performing any crime will prevent criminals perform them in the first place.
For instance
Linking Words
, a burglar who is planning to rob a bank would not perform that crime, since he knows that he will be directly found and sentenced.
Although
Linking Words
 some say that computers are not as smart as people and are afraid that
technology
Use synonyms
 will lead to false accusations, I tend to concede and believe that future systems will be developed enough to find the right criminal and will lead to a safer society. In conclusion, I agree that
crimes
Use synonyms
 will be easier to solve in the future and even prevent them from happening at all, thanks to advanced
technology
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Include more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and make your arguments more engaging.
Task Response
Try to explore a few points more deeply rather than touching on many. This allows for more comprehensive arguments and better support for your views.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion which clearly state and support your position on the topic.
Task Achievement
The essay covers multiple angles on how technology impacts crime prevention and solving, providing a well-rounded view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: