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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some cultures, people often tell children that they could achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this advice?

Many cultures tell
children
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 that with enough
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effort
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effort,
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 they can achieve anything.
While
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this
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 maxim can encourage positive attitudes and hard work, it
also
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 carries potential
harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
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 when presented without nuance.
Below
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Below,
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 I discuss the main advantages and disadvantages of giving
children
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this
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 advice. On the positive side,
emphasizing
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emphasising
show examples
effort
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 promotes perseverance, self-discipline and a growth mindset.
Children
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 who believe their abilities can be improved through
effort
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 are more likely to embrace challenges, persist after setbacks and develop productive study habits.
For example
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, pupils who are praised for
effort
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 rather than innate talent tend to attempt harder tasks and learn more effectively. Encouraging industriousness can
also
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 broaden aspirations
:
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;
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 youngsters from disadvantaged backgrounds may be motivated to pursue higher education or vocational training, improving long‑term life chances.
However
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, the message that
effort
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 alone guarantees success is overly simplistic and can be damaging. It ignores structural barriers
such
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 as poverty, discrimination, and unequal access to resources; no amount of individual toil can fully compensate for systemic disadvantage.
Moreover
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, the dictum can foster perfectionism and self‑blame
: when
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. When
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children
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 fail despite trying hard, they may
internalize
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internalise
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 failures as personal moral shortcomings, which damages self‑esteem and mental health.
Finally
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, an exclusive focus on
effort
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 may undervalue other important qualities
such
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 as creativity, strategic thinking and collaboration, or lead to unhealthy work habits and burnout. In conclusion, telling
children
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 they can achieve anything through
effort
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 has clear benefits for motivation and character development, but must be tempered by realism. Adults should couple encouragement with practical support, honest discussions about obstacles and guidance on effective strategies, so that
children
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 learn to work hard smartly rather than merely believe that
effort
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 is a universal panacea.

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structure
Make the topic sentence in each paragraph clear.
coherence
Break long ideas into shorter lines and use simple words.
evidence
Add one clear example for each main point.
accuracy
Check spelling and grammar to keep a smooth read.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and result.
content
The essay shows both sides and has a clear view.
structure
It ends with a strong closing idea.
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