Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

With the prevalence of
the
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apply
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smart phones
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smartphones
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and the
Internet
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, social communication platforms online,
such
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as Instagram,
youtube
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YouTube
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,
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and facebook
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facebook
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Facebook
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, have
became
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become
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popular ways to connect
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others
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with others
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.
This
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trend somehow alters the relationships by providing simultaneous reactions but a
virture
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virtual
environment,
thus
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introducing a risk of dividing the
society
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and getting false information when making friends on the
Internet
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.
Firstly
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, the advanced technology tears
the
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apply
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society
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apart.
Theoratically
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Theoretically
, immediate images and sounds make it easier to
strength
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strengthen
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the relationships among individuals as they can have more chances to express themselves, give
explainations
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explanations
, and learn
other's
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others'
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lives.
Nevertheless
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, the social applications actually
seperate
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separate
people
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into different groups and subculture
cirlces
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circles
by deepening misunderstandings when over-expressing their personal views regardless of thinking about
others
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'
feeling
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feelings
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. Once the subcultures
constructed
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are constructed
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,
such
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as fans supporting different singers or idols,
people
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on the
internet
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belonging to the different camps usually have arguments out of their senses,
spit out
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speak
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irresponsible
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irresponsibly
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speaking
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, and even can cause a fight with each
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others
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other
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. The division
thus
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formed
,
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apply
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which
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apply
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is detrimental to building a harmonious
society
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.
Secondly
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, the digital communication
scences
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scenes
are always filled with fake news about celebrities, politics and football players, especially when
people
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are in anonymity and become
more bolded
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bolder
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to deliver emotional speeches and
rumurs
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rumours
to attract clicks without taking responsibility. What's worse, most
people
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just believe what they see from their personal scopes and personal benefits rather than objective perspectives.
As a consequence
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, false information deteriorates the trust
atomersphere
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atmosphere
construction
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apply
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among
people
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, which will do harm to making sincere relationships. In short,
desipte
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despite
of
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apply
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the convenience of the advanced communication technology, what really happened on the
internet
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was that
this
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technology tears our
society
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apart and
deepened
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deepens
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the misunderstandings
instead
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of strengthening the bonds among
others
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, which is a negative development.

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grammar
Fix many grammar and spelling errors which make ideas hard to read.
structure
Add a clear plan at the start with a short final wrap up.
content
Give more real and clear examples to back your points.
coherence
Use simple linking words to join ideas, like and, but, also, for example.
vocabulary
Use only simple words and short sentences to keep the text easy to read.
content
The idea that technology changes how people connect is clear.
structure
There is some order with first and second points to explain ideas.
content
You touch an real issue like fake news and group talk.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • interact
  • relationships
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • online
  • face-to-face
  • friendships
  • romantic relationships
  • family dynamics
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • effects
  • formation
  • ease
  • impacts
  • communities
  • connect
  • interaction
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