IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Influenced by the rapid development of new
technology
Use synonyms
, the
means
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way
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people
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interacting
Wrong verb form
interact
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 with others
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 significantly changed a lot. In my opinion,
this
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 trend has both positive and negative impacts.
Technology
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 has affected
relationship
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relationships
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 in
diversity
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diverse
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 aspects,
such
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 as education, business. First of all,
technology
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 sufficient platforms to allow students to have
online-lessons
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online lessons
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, leading to a shift in communication between students and teachers, from face-to-face to online.
Moreover
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, the
emerging
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emergence
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 of some office
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 had an impact on
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
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 offline business negotiation mode. Companies can now contact
with
Change preposition
apply
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more potential partners from different countries for cooperation, promoting the sound development of international cooperative relations. I believe that
this
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 development has its advantages and drawbacks.
One
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On
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 the one hand, many entities have gained numerous benefits and growth from it..
For example
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, students can able to access higher-quality educational resources because they can search for teachers from all over the world on the Internet who
meet
Correct word order
best meet
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 their requirements
best
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apply
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. The rise of video calls and social
softwares breake
Correct your spelling
software breaks
 the limitations owing to
people
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 being in various regions,
thus
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 making
people
Use synonyms
's interaction more convenient and easier.
On the other hand
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, the prevalence of new communication
technology
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 tends to increase the possibility of
people
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 being isolated from each other. Rather than spending time arranging a face-to-face communication in advance,
people
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 may prefer to choose to chat online directly. Not only that, some youngsters may tend to make friends online
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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addicting
Wrong verb form
become addicted
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in
Change preposition
to
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 it, resulting in neglecting interpersonal relationships in real life. In conclusion, there is no doubt that the innovation of
technology
Use synonyms
 has
promoted
Correct word order
largely promoted
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 the way to interact with others
largely
Correct word order
apply
show examples
.
However
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,
while
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 enjoying the convenience it brings, we should
also
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recognize
Use the right word
recognise
show examples
 the existing problems and try to solve them.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on that idea throughout.
task response
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will help make your argument stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and punctuation. Some sentences are hard to read because of mistakes.
task response
Try to elaborate more on both the positive and negative impacts mentioned. This will help you address the task completely.
task response
You clearly identify both the positive and negative effects of technology on relationships.
task response
Your ideas show an understanding of the topic and what you want to say.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • interact
  • relationships
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • online
  • face-to-face
  • friendships
  • romantic relationships
  • family dynamics
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • effects
  • formation
  • ease
  • impacts
  • communities
  • connect
  • interaction
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