IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the it’s disadvantages?

Recently,
advanced
Replace the word
advances
show examples
 in
commuinaction
Correct your spelling
communication
 methods and fast transport options offer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 every place
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 want to live or
work
Use synonyms
. I do believe that
this
Linking Words
 development benefits outweigh
it;s
Check wording
its
show examples
 drawbacks. The
recently
Replace the word
recent
show examples
 improvement in the communication methods has
bring
Wrong verb form
brought
show examples
 a
lof
Use the right word
lot
show examples
 of benefits to
people
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, the main benefit of the communication
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 is
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 online and remotely
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can lead to
life-
Correct article usage
a life-work
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 balance .
This
Linking Words
 means that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they can look after
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 children
while
Linking Words
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
working on their
work
Use synonyms
 projects
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 in turn
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 more
satifiying
Correct your spelling
satisfying
 and much
plesurable
Correct your spelling
pleasurable
..
In addition
Linking Words
, by working at
home
Punctuation problem
home,
show examples
 they will not
stuck
Verb problem
be stuck
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the traffic congestion
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is more stressful and many of times
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to anxiety.
According to
Linking Words
 a study conducted at
Harvad Universtiy
Correct your spelling
Harvard University
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 21% of
individual's
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
 lifetimes are
been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
wasted
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 traffic.
Although
Linking Words
 online working can lead to
isolaton
Correct your spelling
isolation
 in the workplace and in the long-term may
Verb problem
cause individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
lose
Verb problem
to lose
show examples
 their
copporation
Correct your spelling
communication
 skills, it seems not to be a serious concern. There are a lot of
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
show examples
 in the
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 system which make commuting more convenient and faster for commuters. Indeed,
By
Change preposition
apply
show examples
growing new innovations in the
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
 means you do not need to live near to workplace.
For instance
Linking Words
, the fast train
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is driven based on
megnatic
Correct your spelling
magnetic
 energy
you
Punctuation problem
, you
show examples
 can cross
aboult
Correct your spelling
about
1 mile
Change preposition
in
show examples
just under 5
miniute
Correct your spelling
minutes
. So you can choose your home
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 isolated countryside and
work
Use synonyms
 in the city
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
.Many
people
Use synonyms
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
show examples
 that more
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 means more
consume
Wrong verb form
consumption of
show examples
 fossil fuels
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 means that more carbon dioxide
Verb problem
is release
show examples
release
Replace the word
released
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
, but I think it can be addressed easily by just
replacment of
Correct your spelling
replacing
reneable
Correct your spelling
renewable
 energies. In conclusion, growing technology in the
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
 and communication offers a lot of benefits to
people
Use synonyms
, which
work
Use synonyms
-life
balnce
Correct your spelling
balance
 and unlimited
chocies
Correct your spelling
choices
 for living are the main advantages.
Although
Linking Words
 it can have some drawbacks
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
copporation bettwen coleges
Correct your spelling
cooperation between colleagues
,
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
benefts outwiegh
Correct your spelling
benefits outweigh
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 disadvantages.

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Task Achievement
Try to use correct spelling and grammar. For example, 'advancements' instead of 'advanced' and 'it's' should be 'its'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your ideas are clearly connected. Use linking words more effectively to show how one idea relates to another. For instance, use phrases like 'On the one hand...' and 'On the other hand...' to present opposing views.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. Instead of just mentioning a study, briefly explain its findings or implications.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have organized your essay into clear paragraphs, which is a good structure.
Task Achievement
You clearly stated that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which shows your position on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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