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Band 6.5

Some people think that online learning is more effective than traditional classroom education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is not uncommon to see that many people, nowadays, suggest an idea that online learning is the best way to be knowledgeable rather than offline. To some extent,
this
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 could have negative consequences, but in general,
this
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 change is for the better.
This
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 essay partially agrees with
this
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 opinion for two main reasons, and will explore a personal point of view. Many students get used to studying online on their social media, as they think that
this
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 way is more favourable and conducive in order to learn frequently.
That is
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, pupils can enhance their knowledge by studying online, everywhere and every time, without obstacles that distract their attention, as well.
By contrast
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, if students prefer to be educated in the traditional classroom, their concentration will be infringed by others, namely, there are different kinds of sounds which pupils create in the classroom. In the USA, for exemplify, some parents want their children to study from the Internet
due to
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this
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 thought.
Thus
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, some individuals, in recent years, have been supporters of
this
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education
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.
Nevertheless
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, students can gain from offline
education
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,
while
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 the other population have opted for
education
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 in traditional classes.
Furthermore
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, some believe that if the young study at educational institutions, they will be able to get individual and,
also
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, face-to-face feedback from teachers compared to the online ones.
According to
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 the research of the University of Japan, studying in conventional
education
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 accounts for eighty per cent of school pupils.
Therefore
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, some would rather study at institutions than at home. In conclusion, lots of people prefer learning online to studying at home, because of its comfort,
while
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 others disagree with
this
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 statement, as there are more benefits of classroom
Use synonyms
education
Punctuation problem
education,
show examples
 including which customised method. Despite of being these opinions, I would say that studying online is more profitable in as to learn knowledge.

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task achievement
Make sure you develop each idea more clearly. Each paragraph should support the main argument strongly.
coherence
Try to improve the flow of your essay. Make sure each idea connects smoothly to the next one.
task achievement
Use clear examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
You express your opinion in a clear way throughout the essay.
task achievement
You have mentioned both sides of the argument, which shows you understand the topic well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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