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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #buildings #ones
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While
 some argue that certain historic
structures
 hold more
value
 and should be carefully preserved, others contend that all old
buildings
 warrant equal attention. In my opinion, there are particular
buildings
 with cultural and community
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
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 that deserve prioritization. There is tremendous
value
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 maintaining
buildings
 with significant historical importance. These
structures
 serve as tangible links to the past, showcasing architectural marvels and preserving ancestral links.
For instance
, ancient castles and palaces symbolize the grandeur of bygone eras, offering a glimpse into the lives of kings, queens, and nobles. By safeguarding these
structures
, we ensure that future generations can appreciate and connect with their cultural heritage. These
buildings
also
 often showcase the craftsmanship and artistic vision of renowned architects and craftsmen. Take,
for example
, the iconic Taj Mahal in India, a testament to the exquisite beauty of Mughal architecture.
Similarly
, Gothic cathedrals, Renaissance villas, and Art Deco skyscrapers are not merely bricks and mortar; they are enduring artistic monuments.
Moreover
, preserving certain old
buildings
 can contribute to the flourishing of a given community or locale. Historic town
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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, with quaint
buildings
 and cobblestone streets, create a sense of place and give residents a shared heritage to cherish. These spaces foster strong community bonds and attract tourists, boosting local economies through heritage tourism.
Further
 restoration and adaptive reuse of these old
buildings
 can generate local economic opportunities. Repurposing a historic building into a boutique hotel, a museum, or an art gallery not only revitalizes the structure but
also
 stimulates job creation and economic growth.
Such
 projects often attract private investors and public funding, injecting resources into the local economy and enhancing the
overall
 quality of life for residents. In conclusion, certain
structures
 serve as living testaments to the past, encouraging feelings of identity and pride.
Therefore
,
buildings
 should be selected that have inherent
value
 and they should be maintained by governments.
Submitted by jelitasofiaz on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, ensure you consistently link ideas together and explicitly state how they are related to each other. Introducing linking phrases and explicit transitions can enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, it would be beneficial to provide a wider range of relevant examples. While your essay includes specific examples like the Taj Mahal, adding more could strength your argument. Additionally, ensure every paragraph directly addresses the prompt, emphasizing your opinion throughout.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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