Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #buildings #ones

While

some argue that certain historic

structures

hold more

value

and should be carefully preserved, others contend that all old

buildings

warrant equal attention. In my opinion, there are particular

buildings

with cultural and community

value

Fix the agreement mistake

values

show examples

that deserve prioritization. There is tremendous

value

Change preposition

show examples

maintaining

buildings

with significant historical importance. These

structures

serve as tangible links to the past, showcasing architectural marvels and preserving ancestral links.

For instance

, ancient castles and palaces symbolize the grandeur of bygone eras, offering a glimpse into the lives of kings, queens, and nobles. By safeguarding these

structures

, we ensure that future generations can appreciate and connect with their cultural heritage. These

buildings

also

often showcase the craftsmanship and artistic vision of renowned architects and craftsmen. Take,

for example

, the iconic Taj Mahal in India, a testament to the exquisite beauty of Mughal architecture.

Similarly

, Gothic cathedrals, Renaissance villas, and Art Deco skyscrapers are not merely bricks and mortar; they are enduring artistic monuments.

Moreover

, preserving certain old

buildings

can contribute to the flourishing of a given community or locale. Historic town

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, with quaint

buildings

and cobblestone streets, create a sense of place and give residents a shared heritage to cherish. These spaces foster strong community bonds and attract tourists, boosting local economies through heritage tourism.

Further

restoration and adaptive reuse of these old

buildings

can generate local economic opportunities. Repurposing a historic building into a boutique hotel, a museum, or an art gallery not only revitalizes the structure but

also

stimulates job creation and economic growth.

Such

projects often attract private investors and public funding, injecting resources into the local economy and enhancing the

overall

quality of life for residents. In conclusion, certain

structures

serve as living testaments to the past, encouraging feelings of identity and pride.

Therefore

buildings

should be selected that have inherent

value

and they should be maintained by governments.

Submitted by jelitasofiaz on Fri Jan 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

To further improve coherence and cohesion, ensure you consistently link ideas together and explicitly state how they are related to each other. Introducing linking phrases and explicit transitions can enhance the flow of your essay.

task achievement

In terms of task achievement, it would be beneficial to provide a wider range of relevant examples. While your essay includes specific examples like the Taj Mahal, adding more could strength your argument. Additionally, ensure every paragraph directly addresses the prompt, emphasizing your opinion throughout.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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