IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000
The shown line graph indicates three types of
fast-food
Correct word choice
fast
show examples
 were consumed by Australian
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
a
Change preposition
over a
show examples
period of 25 years
Punctuation problem
, staring
show examples
staring
Use the right word
starting
show examples
1975
Change preposition
in 1975
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 showed a downward trend,
while
Linking Words
 both pizza and hamburgers became increasingly popular throughout the 25-
year
Use synonyms
 period. It can be seen from the graph
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that's noticeable
Fish
Use synonyms
 and
Chips
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
consumption
Use synonyms
 reaching 100
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 eaten became incredibly popular in 1975. After 10 years, with
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 changes,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it gradually declined. In 2000, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
Hit
Fix capitalization
hit
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 lowest point of it
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 than 40
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, for two other types of food were less than 20
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 in 1975.
Hamburger's
Check wording
Hamburger
show examples
consumption
Use synonyms
 rose dramatically above 80
times
Use synonyms
until
Change preposition
by
show examples
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 1985
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it overtook
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, pizza
consumption
Use synonyms
with grow
Change preposition
grew
show examples
 slightly a bit over 80
times
Use synonyms
 in 1995.
between
Fix capitalization
Between
show examples
 1995 and 2000, both hamburgers and pizza reached their peak levels of
consumption
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, fish, chips, times, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumption
  • Trend
  • Hamburgers
  • Pizza
  • Fried chicken
  • Period
  • Health awareness
  • Availability
  • Taste preferences
  • Marketing influence
  • Implications
  • Western culture
  • Peak periods
  • Promotions
  • Societal habits
  • Patterns
  • Popular
  • Declined
  • Introduction
  • Eating habits
  • Summarise
  • Prediction
  • Recommendations
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