In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or mall to do their shopping. Is it a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, the rise of large shopping
centres
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and
malls
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have
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has
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been preferred to small local shops. Many customers rather the big
malls
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for convenience. There are some advantages to
this
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, and I strongly believe that
this
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is a negative development for social and economic issues. To give an example in large shopping
centres
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have entertainment options
such
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as cinemas, restaurants , and playgrounds
which
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, which
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attract families and young people to big
malls
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.
Firstly
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, large shopping
malls
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can provide a large number of products and services in one place.
This
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opportunity makes it more interesting for customers. And for busy
people
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people,
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this
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is a big chance for shopping in less time. Shopping
centres
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are big and modern
and
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, and
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this
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makes people attracted to these places.
Secondly
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, like these large
malls
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have negative sides too. Small local
craft
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crafts
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have lower prices than big shopping areas , and that makes small
trade to
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businesses
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shut down. When
this
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conditionhappens
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condition happens
, they cause job losses and economic issues. Local shopping markets are more friendly than
malls
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, which makes local shop businesses more attractive for families. All in all, large shops and
malls
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damage local shopping
business
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businesses
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, but each of them has benefits too. My personal thought is that small local businesses provide a more friendly area to customers than shopping
malls
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, and shopping
centres
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are safer than small
dodge
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dodges
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. To illustrate, shopping
centres
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has
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have
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more security than local shops in that
malls
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are larger and have more area
to
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for
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pickpockets.
Therefore
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, I believe that each work
have
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has
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benefits for commerce and negative sides too.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. You mention it at the end, but it is better to state it earlier.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your points better. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between your ideas to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar and spelling more carefully. There are a few mistakes that can confuse the reader.
task achievement
You have identified both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your introduction includes a clear opinion about the matter, showing your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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