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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show favourite social media channels from 2011 to 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show favourite social media channels from 2011 to 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The pie charts provide information about five different social networks(
Facebook
Use synonyms
,Twitter,LinkedIn,Google+,Pinterest) between 2011 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 can be clearly seen that
Facebook
Use synonyms
 was the first,most popular social network in all three given years,with 59%,49% and 38%.Google+ users and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
rised
Correct your spelling
risen
 steadily since 2011,
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Facebook
Use synonyms
 owners
was
Verb problem
have
show examples
 declined slightly.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,people who use most interesting social media was dramatically decreased with 59% in 2011,they lost 21% in 2013,
however
Linking Words
,four other social media in given period was significantly increased,Linkedln have 10% in begin,in 2012
this
Linking Words
 number growed up to 12%,
then
Linking Words
 in 2013 they have 15%.
In addition
Linking Words
,Google+ likers
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 5% in 2011,despite
this
Linking Words
,they
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
went up to 10% in 2012,
then
Linking Words
 in
2013
Punctuation problem
2013,
show examples
growth
Check wording
they grew
show examples
 to 14%.
Conversely
Linking Words
,the popularity of
Facebook
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
falled
Correct your spelling
fallen
 since 2011,
whereas
Linking Words
 Twitter,
linkedln
Correct your spelling
LinkedIn
,Google+ and Pinterest interest
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
rocket
Replace the word
rocketed
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 percentage of favour
were have
Wrong verb form
has grown by
show examples
 about 3-10% growth.Twitter and
pinterest vogue
Fix capitalization
Pinterest Vogue
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
surge
Replace the word
surged
show examples
 to about 3-4% since 2011,
this
Linking Words
 were
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the smallest
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
Linking Words
Change preposition
among then
show examples
then
Use the right word
the
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words facebook, google+ with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • percentage
  • trend
  • popularity
  • social media channel
  • data
  • overview
  • rise
  • decline
  • shift
  • platform
  • distribution
  • user preference
  • notable
  • significant change
  • comparison
  • highlight
  • survey
  • analysis
  • demographics
  • year-on-year change
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