IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin a learning a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do advantages of this outwiegh the disadvantages?

In recent years, there has been growing support for the idea that
children
Use synonyms
 should start learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 at primary school rather than waiting until secondary school.
While
Linking Words
 there may be some drawbacks to early
language
Use synonyms
 learning, I believe the advantages far
outwiegh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages. One major benefit of learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 at a young age is that
children
Use synonyms
 are more adaptable and able to absorb new information easily. Research shows that young learners pick up pronunciation and grammar naturally, much like their mother tongue.
This
Linking Words
 early exposure helps them develop stronger speaking and listening skills over time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, starting early gives
children
Use synonyms
 more years to practice, which can lead to greater fluency and confidence by the time they reach adulthood. Another advantage is cognitive development. Studies suggest that learning a second
language
Use synonyms
 improves memory, problem-solving abilities, and multitasking skills. It
also
Linking Words
 helps
children
Use synonyms
 become more open-minded and culturally aware. These skills can benefit them not only in
language
Use synonyms
 learning but
also
Linking Words
 in other academic subjects and future career opportunities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, introducing foreign languages in primary school may place extra pressure on young learners and teachers. If not implemented properly, it could distract from essential subjects
such
Linking Words
 as math and literacy. In some cases, schools may lack qualified
language
Use synonyms
 teachers at the primary level, which could lead to poor instruction and confusion. Despite these concerns, I believe the benefits are greater. With proper planning and support, foreign
language
Use synonyms
 programs can be integrated smoothly into primary education without overwhelming students or teachers. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are a few challenges to teaching foreign languages at the primary level, the advantages in terms of
language
Use synonyms
 acquisition and cognitive development make it a worthwhile investment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe the benefits clearly outweigh the drawbacks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

spelling
Make sure to check spelling. For example, 'foriegn' should be 'foreign' and 'outwiegh' should be 'outweigh'.
content
You could provide more specific examples of how early language learning helps students in their future careers.
cohesion
Consider adding more transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your argument.
strength
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic, which makes it easy for the reader to understand your position.
strength
You provided several good points about the cognitive benefits of learning a language early, which shows depth in your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: