Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore, they should be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at a school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The young, nowadays, is encouraged to learn
efficaciously
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effectively
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from
on
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apply
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a screen
in
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on
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a daily basis because
of
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apply
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many believe that it is more
gainful
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beneficial
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. I completely disagree with
this
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statement for two main reasons.
This
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essay will explore the details of my stance with examples in
following
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the following
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paragraphs. Touching on the first reason, despite
of
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being its values, watching
on
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apply
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TV
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forces
children
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to sit for extended hours in front of a screen.
In addition
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, a myriad types of eye-related ailments, including hyperopia and myopia, are attributed to excessive
TV
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viewing. Namely,
TV
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light affects
children
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's
eye
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eyes
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, with
decreasing
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a decrease
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of
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in
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eyesightedness
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eyesight
, and it
also
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influences students’
brain
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brains
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.
Furthermore
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, there are a myriad types of
contents
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content
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which are not suitable for the young in some
TV
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shows. Viewing content
that is
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as incompatible as these spectacles is a rare example of affecting
on
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apply
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youngsters’
mind
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minds
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.
Thus
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, spending a long time
watch
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watching
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TV
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causes various health issues.
On the other hand
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, there is no doubt, technological devices can lead to enhance students’ training.
Moreover
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, the more frequently they watch
TV
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, the more knowledge they gain about the world, especially during their early years in kindergarten.
Therefore
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, if
children
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are encouraged in order to watch
the
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apply
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television, they will be able to learn effectively. For these reasons, some parents
attract
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encourage
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their
children
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to gain from these devices. In conclusion,
although
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there are positive consequences of watching
TV
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, its negative sides should not be neglected.
That is
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why I would say that the elderly should advocate reading more books or textbooks to enhance knowledge
instead
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of watching
TV
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state your position on the topic. Make it clear whether you agree or disagree right at the start.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more clearly. Use linking words like 'however', 'because', and 'for example' to help the reader follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. For instance, instead of saying 'a myriad of contents,' mention specific shows that are harmful or beneficial.
task achievement
You made a clear argument against watching excessive TV, which shows a strong opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of contrasting ideas (like positives and negatives of watching TV) adds depth to your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • passive
  • sedentary
  • limit
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • educational content
  • expose
  • different cultures
  • perspectives
  • negative effects
  • behavior
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