in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

These days

due to

some factors society tends to live in the urban

areas

as a result

, a significant portion of people who live in villages have decided to leave their rural

areas

and move into the

cities

consequently

, there is a decrease in the quantities of individuals of who lived in rural

areas

This

essay will elaborate on both the positive and negative impacts of

this

phenomenon. On the one hand, there are some beneficial implications in moving from rural

areas

to the

cities

. The people who live in urban

areas

have many more job opportunities,

therefore

they might be able to find their desired job and would be satisfied with their career.

for example

, you can set up your own business in the city.

In addition

to the job opportunities, the students have a great chance to have a high-quality education and study in a prominent school.

Moreover

, the urban citizens have high-quality facilities including malls, sports centers and shopping centers which improve the condition of living.

On the other hand

, moving into

cities

has a significant negative impact, emigrating from the countryside causes reduced population.

This

incident could lead to a decrease in the number of farmers. Every country needs farmers to produce crops, fruits and rice so life will be difficult without them. Plus, not only

haven’t

Verb problem

does

show examples

people the hustle and bustle of

cities

, but

also

has the greenery scenery which makes it the best place to live.

Finally

, the inhabitants of the countryside have to stay and develop their village. In conclusion, change in the place of living from village to the city has both benefits and negative impacts including providing a better quality of living and education and the lack of farmers in a village . but my point of view is that the advantages of

this

phenomenon far outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Mar 12 2024

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Task Achievement

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Coherence and Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, ensure a more seamless flow between ideas by improving transitions. Consider phrases that link paragraphs and thoughts more clearly, guiding the reader through your argument's logic with increased fluidity.

Task Achievement

In view of Task Achievement, make sure every paragraph contributes directly to answering the question. This involves not only presenting advantages and disadvantages but also clearly stating your stance and explaining why one outweighs the other with persuasive reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion

To boost Coherence and Cohesion, pay attention to the consistency of your argument. Ensure that your essay maintains a clear stance throughout, with all points reinforcing your main assertion without contradicting it.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree

More and more students are taking a year off between finishing high school and going to university. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

All students should study a foreign language in school, starting in their earliest grades. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people think that going to a fitness centre regularly is unnecessary. Instead, they believe that combining occasional exercise (such as going for walks) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?