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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows information about the favourite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows information about the favourite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares the number of pupils from secondary schools A and
B
Use synonyms
 who have five different favourite subjects.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 sport was the most popular major, far higher than the others. Meanwhile, science was known as the least interesting field among
students
Use synonyms
. Looking at the bar chart in detail,
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 appeared with a slight dominance over
school
Use synonyms
 A,
at
Change preposition
with
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 10 pupils.
However
Linking Words
, linguistic and art studies in academy
B
Use synonyms
 saw a considerable prevalence over
school
Use synonyms
 A, reaching 18 and 25
students
Use synonyms
, respectively. With regard to institution A,
while
Linking Words
 5 people considered the language as their favourite, 4
students
Use synonyms
 were fascinated by craft and drawing. Focusing on sport, it is obvious that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 of
school
Use synonyms
 A are fond of
this
Linking Words
 subject,
while
Linking Words
 the attenders of the other educational institution are less interested, which explains a huge gap of nearly 31
students
Use synonyms
 between them. Science,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, demonstrated the least volume of engagement for children from
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words b, students, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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