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Band 6.5

The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009.Summarize the information by selecting an reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.(phuong)

The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009.Summarize the information by selecting an reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.(phuong)
The table illustrates the percentage of citizens participating in four secondary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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(Specialist
Schools
Use synonyms
, Grammar
Schools
Use synonyms
, Voluntary-controlled
Schools
Use synonyms
, Community
Schools
Use synonyms
) from 2000 to 2009. Looking at the
from
Check wording
data from
show examples
 an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, the proportion of pupils joining
in
Change preposition
apply
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Community
Schools
Use synonyms
 increased significantly
by
Change preposition
over
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 the years,
whereas
Linking Words
 the data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 students in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 remaining
schools
Use synonyms
 decreased over a
10 year
Use the right word
10-year
show examples
 period. Moving on to the detailed graph, the number of pupils studying in Specialist
Schools
Use synonyms
 was the lowest throughout the period, which declined slightly
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
%
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each time.
Beside
Use the right word
Besides
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, the rate of people attending Grammar
Schools
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 dropped from 24% in 2000 to 12% in 2009. Not only that, the highest percentage of students participated in Voluntary-controlled
Schools
Use synonyms
 was 52% in 2000
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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this
Linking Words
 figure fell to 38% in 2005, and continued to downward to 20% in 2009.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of residents attending Community
Schools
Use synonyms
growth
Replace the word
grew
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 remarkably, starting at 12 % in 2000 and increasing to 58% in 2009.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words schools with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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