IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

In some countries, serious
crime
Use synonyms
 rates have significantly decreased in recent years, yet many people report feeling more unsafe than ever before.
While
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 statistics indicate that society is becoming more secure, public perception often tells a different story.
This
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 essay will examine the causes of
this
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 contradiction and suggest effective ways to address it. First and foremost, media coverage plays a central role in shaping public views on safety. News channels and online platforms frequently prioritise violent and sensational content to draw in viewers, even when
such
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 incidents are rare.
As a consequence
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,
this
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 constant exposure creates the illusion that
crime
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 is widespread. A notable example is how a single robbery, reported repeatedly across various platforms, can appear to represent a common pattern. Over time,
such
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 repetition fuels anxiety, even in relatively low-
crime
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 areas.
In addition
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 to media influence, the rise of less visible crimes has contributed to growing insecurity. Cybercrime, identity theft, and online scams have become increasingly common, yet they are often underrepresented in official statistics.
Although
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 these offences may not involve physical harm, they frequently cause emotional distress and financial damage.
Moreover
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, when law enforcement is perceived as ineffective or unresponsive, public trust declines.
This
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 erosion of confidence, in turn, intensifies feelings of vulnerability, regardless of actual
crime
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 trends.
To sum up
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,
although
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 serious
crime
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 is declining, fear persists
due to
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 sensational media reporting and the emergence of modern, hidden threats. To close the gap between perception and reality, governments should promote transparent
crime
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 statistics, encourage responsible journalism, and strengthen public trust in police by improving their visibility and responsiveness, both online and offline.

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task achievement
Try to make your introduction more engaging. You might start with a fact or a question.
task achievement
Include more clear examples to support your points. This will help your ideas stand out.
coherence cohesion
When making your points, use linking words like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' to make connections clearer.
task achievement
You have a clear thesis statement that outlines the essay’s direction.
coherence cohesion
Your argument about media influence is well-developed and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main ideas and restates the problem effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • availability heuristic
  • media coverage
  • misinformation
  • urbanization
  • community cohesion
  • justice system
  • economic inequality
  • community policing
  • media literacy
  • surveillance
  • swift justice
  • social cohesion
  • neighborhood watch
  • deterrent
What to do next:
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