Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think that the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?

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It is frequently argued by people that countries should
priortize
Correct your spelling
prioritise

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their
support
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by promoting domestic companies
instead
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of foreign business.
Although
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some might disagree with
this
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statement, I completely agree with
this
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notion not only because of the importance of promoting national entrepreneurship and boosting the domestic economy but
also
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because it ensures the preservation of local culture and industries.
This
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essay will explore how these factors justify my opinion.
To begin
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with
Add a comma
with,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase To begin with. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
the
predominanat
Correct your spelling
predominant

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reason that compels me to agree with
this
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concern is that aiding homegrown enterprises
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps

It seems that the verb help does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to create a strong domestic
economic
Replace the word
economy

The word economic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. Local enterprises contribute significantly to job creation, reducing unemployment, and ensuring that wealth is distributed more evenly within the
country
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.
For instance
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, many small
businesses
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in countries like Germany are family-run, and they play a critical role in the
country
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's economic success by generating jobs and stabilizing the economy.
Thus
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,
this
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factor can almost single-handedly
support
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my view that encouraging local
businesses
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strengthens the national economic structure.
Furthermore
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, an additional compelling reason to
support
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my opinion is that promoting local
businesses
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fosters
innovation
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and entrepreneurship within the
country
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. By focusing on homegrown talent and startups, governments create an environment where
innovation
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can thrive, leading to the development of new industries and technologies. To illustrate, Silicon Valley in the United States emerged as a hub for technological
innovation
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because of strong
support
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for local entrepreneurs and startups.
Hence
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,
this
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factor clearly justifies my stance, as it emphasizes the critical role of local
businesses
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in driving
innovation
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.
In addition
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, another considerable reason is that prioritizing local
businesses
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helps preserve and promote cultural heritage. Foreign companies may bring in globalized products and services that can overshadow traditional industries, leading to the loss of local customs, crafts, and values. Supporting local
businesses
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ensures that the
country
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's unique cultural identity is maintained and celebrated.
To conclude
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, I believe that
this
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statement is correct, and I strongly agree with it not only in terms of creating a strong domestic economy and fostering
innovation
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but
also
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due to
Linking Words

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the fact that promoting local
businesses
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helps preserve the cultural heritage of a nation.
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task achievement
For an even stronger essay, try to integrate more diverse examples from various countries or settings to further illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all arguments are equally developed and balanced. This can be achieved by dedicating similar lengths and levels of detail to each point made.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a well-structured introduction and conclusion, making the argument clear from the outset and effectively summarizing it at the end.
supported main points
The essay supports its main points with relevant examples, contributing to a strong task response.
logical structure
The arguments are logically structured, which enhances the essay’s readability and persuasiveness.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • foreign companies
  • local business
  • government policies
  • investment
  • job opportunities
  • economic growth
  • sustainability
  • balance
  • attract
  • challenge
  • compete
  • large corporations
  • national identity
  • cultural heritage
  • technology
  • expertise
  • incentives
  • support
  • community
  • social cohesion
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