Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier stage. Do you agree or disagree?

There is an ongoing debate about whether all

people

Use synonyms

should retire at a certain age or not. Some

people

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claim that

government

Use synonyms

workers who spend their

lives

Use synonyms

serving the country should have some privileges,

while

Linking Words

others firmly believe that letting someone retire at an earlier stage will be unfair and insufficient.

This

Linking Words

essay will elucidate both sides of

this

Linking Words

argument and provide a personal opinion.

To begin

Linking Words

with, I completely agree with the statement that

government

Use synonyms

employees should have certain privileges. Citizens who devote their

lives

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to their nation should be rewarded.

In other words

Linking Words

, I think it would be fair if the

government

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would appreciate their hard

work

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and let them retire earlier.

This

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will foster positive opinion about the authorities and draw in more youngsters who will be willing to

work

Use synonyms

for the

government

Use synonyms

For example

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, in Kazakhstan, working for the authorities is considered a prestigious and well-rewarded job that comes with many privileges, one of which is an earlier retirement age.

As a result

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, many young

people

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are interested in working for the

government

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in pursuit of a better life.

Nevertheless

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, the other side of

this

Linking Words

argument

also

Linking Words

has some valid points.

Firstly

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, It is true that

government

Use synonyms

workers who have devoted their

lives

Use synonyms

to serving their country deserve certain benefits;

however

Linking Words

, so do all citizens. Countless

people

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work

Use synonyms

in the service industry, helping others in their daily

lives

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. It would be unfair if some

people

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get to retire earlier than others just because they

work

Use synonyms

for the

government

Use synonyms

Secondly

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, by lowering the retirement age for certain groups, the authorities will experience a loss in revenue. Allowing

people

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to retire earlier without losing their monthly payments will undoubtedly result in a loss of revenue for the

government

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, It is evident that both sides of

this

Linking Words

argument have viable claims.

In addition

Linking Words

This

Linking Words

essay examined both sides of

this

Linking Words

debate and provided an opinion that agreed with the first statement.

ken658301Sun May 11 2025

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task achievement

Your essay presents a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument well, which showcases a good understanding of the topic.

task achievement

You used relevant examples, such as the situation in Kazakhstan, to support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier stage. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does the plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

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Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. Is this a positive or negative development? Huy Cao

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned. Others, however, think the people should have freedom to choose sports activities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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