IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is argued that
people
Use synonyms
 should have a future prospect and save
money
Use synonyms
. I completely agree
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I believe
this
Linking Words
 kind of scheme would be beneficial for everybody in society, especially the young generation, for various reasons. In recent years, individuals have struggled with some economic problems
due to
Linking Words
 inflation or bad decisions made by policymakers. These problems ,
such
Linking Words
 as increasing prices, highlight the importance of saving a part of the income.
For instance
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, my family members invest in either gold or properties monthly to reduce probable future financial problems. Among all generations, younger ones must be more prepared for upcoming events as they may not have fully provided the living essentials like accommodation or house supplies. Since these
items
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 require a great deal of
money
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, they should start investing gradually.
For instance
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, the government allocated some specific revenue to
youngyoungs
Replace the word
young people
show examples
 by giving them some low-interest loans to meet their essential needs. As
people
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 are becoming more financially aware of the current situation, they are reducing their expenditure on unnecessary
items
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, which can
also
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 be beneficial to the environment. When
people
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 save more
money
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, they
consequently
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 buy fewer clothes of low quality, and they tend to buy more durable, sustainable
items
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.
This
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 results in a reduction in trash production, which is absolutely beneficial to the environment. By learning a saving attitude,
people
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 may become more encouraged to set long-term, useful plans for their income, which brings more satisfaction and becomes more objective.
For example
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, when a young person saves
money
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 to
get
Verb problem
buy
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 a house,
instead
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 of wasting
money
Use synonyms
 on fast-fashion trends,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
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 more financially satisfied. In conclusion, I believe that individuals must save
money
Use synonyms
 for future plans,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is not only beneficial to their lives but
also
Linking Words
 has a positive impact on the environment,
as well as
Linking Words
 being really rewarding and fulfilling when they buy
items
Use synonyms
 objectively.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly connect your ideas and paragraphs. Use linking words like 'first', 'second', and 'finally'.
grammar
Be careful with some grammar points, like missing spaces and correct forms of words. For example, 'youngyoungs' should be 'young people'.
task achievement
Try to provide more clear examples that relate directly to your main points for better support.
task achievement
You show good understanding of why saving money is important, especially for young people.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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