All fathers should be entitled to time off from work when their children are ‎born. ‎ To what extent do you agree or disagree?‎

Some argue that every father deserves

time

Use synonyms

off from work after the birth of their ‎child.

Although

Linking Words

there are certain drawbacks,

such

Linking Words

as financial burden and ‎potential negative impacts on their career, I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

statement, ‎as the benefits for family bonding and childcare outweigh the negative aspects ‎when managed carefully.‎ On the one hand, entitling all

fathers

Use synonyms

time

Use synonyms

off could lead to some issues, both ‎for the father and the company.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it may result in high costs for the ‎businesses to cover the absence of the employee who is on paternity leave. ‎

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

may

also

Linking Words

cause

disturbing

Replace the word

disturbances to

show examples

the team dynamics and create jealousy ‎among childless employees.

Thirdly

Linking Words

, unpaid leaves could create financial pressure ‎for the families in which the mother is a housewife and all the expenditures are ‎covered by the father’s income.‎

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if

fathers

Use synonyms

have

time

Use synonyms

off after the birth of their child, it is ‎beneficial for the family, since it provides a chance to take care of the newborn ‎baby in the early days of the birth, so

fathers

Use synonyms

can support their family more ‎effectively, and

also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can mitigate the pressure on their

wife

Fix the agreement mistake

wives

show examples

This

Linking Words

strengthens ‎the family bonding and can be enhancing for the child's development. ‎

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it provides job security for the

fathers

Use synonyms

, and provides a suitable ‎solution for the employers to retain the employees, who are hardworking and ‎highly experienced, in the corporation, leading to a more productive workplace. ‎

Consequently

Linking Words

, I believe the paternity leave is beneficial for both families and ‎businesses.‎ In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

entitling all

fathers

Use synonyms

time

Use synonyms

off after childbirth may have ‎some challenges, I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

policy and support it

due to

Linking Words

its ‎advantages for family, childcare, and employee retention.‎

mhmmdmostafavi

Aug 5, 2025

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Make sure to give more specific examples to support your ideas, as this can make your points stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Try to improve the flow of your ideas by using clearer linking words between sentences.

strong point

You have a good introduction that states your opinion clearly.

strong point

The conclusion wraps up your ideas well and restates your main point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

entitled
time off
work
children
born
role
early years
bond
relationship
care
support
well-being
division
responsibilities
equality
environment
job satisfaction
loyalty
employee
important

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All fathers should be entitled to time off from work when their children are ‎born. ‎ To what extent do you agree or disagree?‎

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problem can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep ?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Children are facing more pressure from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of such pressure? What measures can be taken to reduce it?