IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

For many
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
, the issue of economic
progress
Use synonyms
 has always been their important goal,
while
Linking Words
 some individuals take other types of
progress
Use synonyms
 as a matter equally.
For
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 I think both of them have advantages and disadvantages. Here are my reasons.
For
Change preposition
At
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 the
beignning
Correct your spelling
beginning
, it could be obviously witnessed that the
progress
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 can actually
take
Verb problem
bring
show examples
 a lot of benefits to a developing
country
Use synonyms
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 a developed
country
Use synonyms
. Residents in a
country
Use synonyms
 whose
economy
Use synonyms
 grows fast will have many advantages,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 gain more chances to develop themselves.
For example
Linking Words
, my home
country
Use synonyms
China
Punctuation problem
, China
show examples
, has a high speed of economic growth in the past two decades, which has brought lots of innovations to the Chinese: Ali Pay, the high-speed rail and many things as well.It's a simple phenomenon that the
economy
Use synonyms
 grows, some industries will
also
Linking Words
 become better at the same time; so these industries will expand and attract more
empolyees
Correct your spelling
employees
. These people will have more money, they will pay more on the
Use synonyms
country's taxes
Check wording
country
show examples
 and their family, which will more deeply promote the community service of the
country
Use synonyms
, like good hospitals or advanced schools. It's absolutely true that our life has become better
totally
Rephrase
overall
show examples
by
Change preposition
due
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 the economic
progress
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
 ,these developments
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
 have
cost
Correct article usage
a cost
show examples
, like the bad effects on the
environments
Fix the agreement mistake
environment
show examples
 and the pollution of the sea and the air.I think that the growth of
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 should take a stable step. Rome wasn't built in a day. We should
also
Linking Words
 care about other types of
progress
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some industries will consume lots of natural
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
 and bring lots of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 when they're expanding, which may bring bad influences to our offspring. In conclusion, we need to
take
Verb problem
strike
show examples
 a balance
pace
Check wording
apply
show examples
between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth and other types of
progress
Use synonyms
.

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language
Check grammar and spelling; many words are wrong and this makes meaning hard to see.
structure
Plan your essay. Start with a clear view in the intro, then one paragraph for each side, and finish with a strong opinion.
coherence
Link ideas with simple, clear words; be sure the order of ideas is easy to follow.
content
Give more exact examples and explain how they show your point.
lexical
Use common words and short sentences to keep meaning clear and easy to read.
content
The essay tries to show both view and a view of your own.
content
There is a real example about China that links growth with new things.
structure
There is a short ending that calls for balance.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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