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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the projected costings over the next five years in American dollars for three environmental projects sustainable forestry. The pie chart shows the expected expenditure breakdown allocation for the first years as the projects are set up.

The table below shows the projected costings over the next five years in American dollars for three environmental projects sustainable forestry. The pie chart shows the expected expenditure breakdown allocation for the first years as the projects are set up.
The given table compares the projected financial spending over the next five years for three proposals of sustainable forestry.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the pie diagram points out the details of expected costings in the first
year
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be obviously seen that the finance which
be
Verb problem
was
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 allocated to
Weset
Correct your spelling
West
 Africa and Central America diminished over the years.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the projected costings of South-east Asia constantly increase.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the pie diagram, salaries are the most important part in the first
year
Use synonyms
. Looking at the table in more detail, South-east Asia invests the most money in three areas.
According to
Linking Words
 supported information, the investment in American dollars of Southeast Asia has spiked
up
Change preposition
apply
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after
year
Use synonyms
 2. In comparison, both West Africa and Central
America
Check wording
America's
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 financial allocation have been salient decreased every
year
Use synonyms
. Regarding in pie chart, in the earliest
Use synonyms
year
Punctuation problem
year,
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 salaries accounted for almost 50 % of the investigation budget. Office expenses formed the second-largest allocation,
while
Linking Words
 both set-up costs and training costs occupied much smaller shares.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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