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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, not enough students are choosing to study science subjects. What are the reasons? What are the effects of this on society?

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In recent years, it has been observed that many
students
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 are avoiding to choose
science
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 related
subjects
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. There are a number of reasons for
this
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 trend,
such
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 as the difficulty of mastering the subject and
old-fashioned
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the old-fashioned
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 methods of teaching
science
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. A variety of problems may arise
as a result
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 of
this
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 situation. The core reason why most
students
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 do not prefer to study
the
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apply
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science
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,
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apply
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 is the hardness to learn them.
Science
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subjects
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,
such
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 as physics, chemistry or biology, require a high level of understanding in mathematics. If a student is not capable of solving complex math problems, they will find other
science
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-related
subjects
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 extremely difficult. Apart from math, strong analytical and critical skills are
also
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 essential. These
subjects
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also
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 rely on abstract concepts, which makes the learning process even harder for a student.
This
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 led them to quit the field in the beginning. Another significant factor which can be attributed to the
lack
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 of
science
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students
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 is the classical ways of teaching the
science
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 major.
Teachers
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 usually use theory and rules, which naturally make learning difficult and boring as a whole.
This
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 is because most schools
lack
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 the innovative and experimental technologies to teach a certain concept. Take my country as a pertinent example - Uzbekistan. Not only in the remote schools, but
also
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 most of the schools in the urban cities are not provided with special equipment for
science
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. When it comes to the consequences of the situation. Various far-reaching implications can be found.
This
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 includes the shortage of professional
teachers
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 in the field.
This
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 results to
lack
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 of interest in
science
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 among youngsters.
For example
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, in my city, very few
science
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teachers
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 can be found, so fewer
students
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 are learning
science
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.
In addition
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 to
this
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 issue, another upcoming problem is the delay of technological developments in the country. To explain that, most of the innovations are the result of scientific research, which would contribute to incredible advancements in the area. If fewer people study in these realms, the likelihood of innovations will
also
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 decline. In conclusion, the reasons behind the shortage of
students
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 in
science
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 related-
subjects
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 are the complexity to learn them. Less innovative teaching methods are the second factor.
Lack
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 of professional
teachers
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 in the field and delayed innovations are the implications of the situation.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain reasons well, but effects need more depth.
task response
Use clearer and more exact ideas. Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar.
task response
Add one more clear example for the effects on society.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas more clearly. One paragraph for reasons and one paragraph for effects is good, but topic sentences can be stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some linking words are used well, but a few feel forced or not natural.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence flow. A few parts are not easy to connect because of word choice.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
Your main reasons are clear: hard subjects and old teaching style.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and easy to follow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics)
  • intrinsic complexity
  • interdisciplinary
  • career counseling
  • hands-on experience
  • financial constraints
  • cultural stereotypes
  • technological stagnation
  • economic growth
  • foreign experts
  • healthcare advancements
  • educational gap
  • perceived difficulty
  • reliance
  • environmental challenges
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