In many countries in the world, people are leaving the rural areas and moving into the urban areas. What are the reasons you believe are making people do this? What can be done to reduce this trend?

The world has changed, especially life in urban
areas
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. In many countries, it seems that the
crime
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rate is higher in urban
areas
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. It has definitely increased more than in rural
areas
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.
This
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essay will examine the reasons why I think
that is
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, and what can be done to reduce
this
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. I believe that there are several reasons why
crime
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rates in cities have accelerated.
Firstly
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, poor supervision from parents and schools. In overcrowded
areas
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, institutions can't provide the proper upbringing for each individual, which may lead to poor decisions.
Moreover
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, in many cases, parents are overwhelmed by the overload of work, so children can't get the attention they need.
Secondly
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, the media can play a significant role in today's life. Bustling
areas
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have excellent Internet coverage;
therefore
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, individuals have access to social media and are influenced by it.
For example
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, the Internet revolution has resulted in misbehaviour and prank content, which may encourage theft and disobedience of the law.
Thirdly
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, environments and surroundings have an essential impact on all citizens. Some neighbourhoods promote illegal actions,
such
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as violence, illegal substances, and unlawful weapons.
However
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, there are numerous solutions to combat
this
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increase in crimes. One key solution is setting up surveillance cameras in those vibrant
areas
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. It can detect any suspicious movements in the territory.
Consequently
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, it can assist in placing criminals behind bars, minimising
crime
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rates.
Furthermore
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, the enforcement of legal punishments towards those who believe that they are above the authorities. Those penalties can seriously reduce criminal activities.
For instance
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, Venezuela is a country that witnessed a high
crime
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rate;
however
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, with the new Prime Minister, it has declined rapidly.
In addition
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, governments have been offering residences to people in rural
areas
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.
This
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results in fewer instances of criminal activity in the cities. In conclusion, it is clear to see that the
crime
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rate has increased in urban
areas
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for various reasons.
Nevertheless
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, it can be solved by utilising cameras and enforcing harsh penalties.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main points in the introduction to guide the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the flow between paragraphs. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'additionally', and 'finally' more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your conclusion, summarize your key points briefly for a stronger finish.
Task Achievement
You provided clear reasons for the increase in crime rates, which is a strong point of your argument.
Task Achievement
The examples given, such as the Internet impact and Venezuelan crime reduction, added depth to your essay.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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