IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have different views of
government
Use synonyms
 support
create
Wrong verb form
for creating
show examples
artists
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 subsidies.
While
Linking Words
 some people think that it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of funding and
artists
Use synonyms
 should find their own alternative income for living,I believe that we should mix both
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to keep
artists
Use synonyms
' creative flexibility.
Beacuse
Correct your spelling
Because
 they don't have subsidies
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
governments
Use synonyms
, they would
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
funding.
As a result
Linking Words
, their
artworks
Use synonyms
 may
turned
Verb problem
be turned
show examples
 into more
commercialise
Wrong verb form
commercialised
show examples
 to get
enoungh
Correct your spelling
enough
 money for their living and creating.
Futermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, to become
commercialise
Wrong verb form
commercialised
show examples
 means they need to make
artworks
Use synonyms
 as funders want.In the long run,
artworks
Use synonyms
 would
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their
vairity
Correct your spelling
variety
.
Artworks
Use synonyms
 can be
effected
Use the right word
affected
show examples
 by
governments
Use synonyms
 as well, if
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
artist
Use synonyms
 only
count
Correct subject-verb agreement
counts
show examples
 on funding from
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, if
Use synonyms
government's
Check wording
governments
show examples
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 obeyed, it would cut off the funding for the
artist
Use synonyms
 to
froce
Correct your spelling
force
 the
artist
Use synonyms
 to serve
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it.At the same time, the
artist
Use synonyms
 would
under
Verb problem
be under
show examples
 pressure
of
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 not
enough
Verb problem
having enough
show examples
 money for living, but with alternative incomes,
artists
Use synonyms
 would be more likely to obey
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
governments
Check wording
government's
show examples
 will, because they have enough money for living and
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not
get
Verb problem
receive
show examples
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 from
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
.Personally, I think that we should
mixed
Wrong verb form
mix
show examples
 both to keep
artists
Use synonyms
to be
Change preposition
from being
show examples
 partial to either
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 or
government
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe the best way is
Use synonyms
Change preposition
for artist
show examples
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
have
Verb problem
to have
show examples
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
 alternative incomes from different
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
, so that
can
Correct pronoun usage
they can
show examples
 keep
artists
Use synonyms
' independence and creative flexibility.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states both views and your opinion. A stronger opening sets up your essay well.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to explain each point in your paragraphs. This helps readers follow your ideas more easily.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammar and spelling mistakes, as they can distract readers from your ideas. A few errors can lower your score.
task achievement
Try to provide specific examples or details to support your points. This makes your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views, which shows you understand the task.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your thoughts clearly, giving a sense of closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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