Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly assumed that the most effective way of addressing environmental issues around the world is to elevate the price of fossil
fuels
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. I completely agree with
this
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suggestion, as it lays the foundation for the development of environmentally friendly sources of energy. First and foremost, higher price levels on carbon-based
fuels
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will directly impact the consumer's purchasing power.
In other words
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, exaggerated fuel prices will lead to financial strain, and in return will reduce the unsustainable use of mined resources.
Moreover
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, environmental laws can regulate the fuel industry by setting taxes imposed on the use of fossil
fuels
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to limit the amount of greenhouse gas emissions as much as possible. To illustrate, research conducted by McKinsey in 2018 showed that the rate of carbon footprint per person in the USA fell by nearly 8% after an increase in tax rate.
Furthermore
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, considering the strong dependency of the contemporary world on carbon-based fuel, rising costs would impact the budget of almost every citizen.
Therefore
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, being exposed to increased expenditure, consumers will seek more cost-effective sources.
Therefore
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, the need for biofuels will arise, enabling communities to invest in long-term solutions,
instead
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of non-renewable
fuels
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,
such
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as oil, gas and coal.
For instance
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, increased costs for petrol will lead to the consumption of hybrids or electric vehicles that are both affordable and eco-friendly. In conclusion, I firmly support the idea that governments should charge higher prices on non-renewable energy sources, as it prevents overconsumption and stimulates green solutions. If we don’t take
such
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measures today, future generations will suffer even more.

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task
Make your view clear at the start and keep it in all your points.
coherence
Link each idea to the main claim; add a short note on limits or a counter view.
coherence
Use more simple linking words and avoid repeating 'therefore' too much.
content
Check facts and be careful with numbers; use general evidence if a stat is unsure.
language
Fix grammar and word choice for accuracy.
structure
End with a strong restatement of view and quick wrap up.
structure
Clear stance and conclusion
coherence
Good use of linking phrases at times
content
Examples show impact of policy on people
content
Keeps to topic well
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
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