IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of people are choosing to change careers during their working ives and some even do so more than once. what reasons might people have to change careers? Do you think this is a positive or negative development for society?

Nowadays, there is an extensive increase in the number of
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who, prefer changing their careers
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 working a job, and some even do it multiple times. There are
plethora
Correct article usage
a plethora
show examples
 of reasons contributing to
this
Linking Words
 development, which
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 I will explain
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
 essay,
along with
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 how
this
Linking Words
 can be more of a positive development in today's society. If we talk about the reasons behind
people
Use synonyms
's desire to change their career, the first thing that comes to my mind is
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the monetary dissatisfaction. With the increase of inflation, there has been
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 increase in the cost of basic things
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, the income remains the same.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 start looking for extra options
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that can help them earn enough to maintain a decent lifestyle.
For example
Linking Words
, an average household income for a
middle class
Use the right word
middle-class
show examples
 Indian family
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is around 25k-30k indian rupees, which is definitely not sufficient to fulfil even their daily needs. Another reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 discontent
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the work environment. Toxic managers, rigid or hectic schedules and excessive
work load
Use the right word
workload
show examples
, without enough pay
Punctuation problem
, leads
show examples
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to
people
Use synonyms
quit
Wrong verb form
quitting
show examples
 their jobs
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 for something else
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that allows them to spare enough personal time as well.
According to
Linking Words
 my point of view, changing careers is a positive thing because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it allows an individual to have enough flexibility to work
according to
Linking Words
 their desire, and not only to fulfil their daily requirements. It opens doors for
people
Use synonyms
 to explore better opportunities,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
improve the quality of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
 to mention, sometimes it becomes monotonous to follow the same schedule
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, changing a career line or finding a job in
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 different department
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 brings fresh air of relief and helps a person to be versatile in performing different roles and duties rather than sticking to the same routine. In the conclusion, I would say that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 most
people
Use synonyms
 are open to job changes because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of availability of enough finances. At the same time, everyone should have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right to explore different options so that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they can have the kind of life they want .

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structure
Use clear topic sentences to start each paragraph and keep one idea in each sentence.
grammar
Work on grammar and sentence shape; fix run on sentences and make verb tenses match.
content
Add more clear examples from life or study to prove your points, not only one country.
coherence
Use linking words like but, also, then, so to help the flow from one idea to the next.
lexical
Keep words simple and common; avoid hard or long words that may not fit the level.
task
State your view in the first paragraph and restate it in the last part of the essay.
content
The writer tries to answer the prompt and gives two main reasons.
content
There is a clear view that changing work can be good for some people.
effort
Some effort is shown to give examples and to explain points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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