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Band 6

The chart below shows the numbers of three types of visitor to a museum between 1997 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the numbers of three types of visitor to a museum between 1997 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The bar chart illustrates the counts of three kinds of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
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 (
adult
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visitors
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,
visitors
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 aged under 15 and special
exhibition
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visitors
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) to a museum from 1997 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
adult
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visitors
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 was the
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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highest over the given
period
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 special
exhibition
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visitors
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 were the least
Check wording
apply
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visitors
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the count of
visitors
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 aged under 15
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 slightly, but
then
Linking Words
 declined. At the beginning of the
period
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, in 1997, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
adult
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visitors
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 was significantly higher, at about 300,100,
while
Linking Words
 special
exhibition
Use synonyms
visitors
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 reached about 28,000. The count of
visitors
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 aged under 15 was
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 120,000.
In addition
Linking Words
, the total
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 year was 448,300. By 2002, the
figure
Check wording
number
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 of
adult
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visitors
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 and special
exhibition
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visitors
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 experienced a gradual growth, at about 302,200 and 29,200 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
visitors
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 aged under 15 steadily declined
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the total was slightly less than
1997
Change preposition
in 1997
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, at about 442,000. In 2007, the count of
adult
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visitors
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 saw a considerable growth, reaching about 400,500,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
visitors
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 aged under 15 rapidly fell.
In addition
Linking Words
, the total of
this
Linking Words
 year was the
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
highest over the given
period
Use synonyms
, at about 525,200. Over time, in 2012, these figures had
been
Verb problem
apply
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slowly fallen
Correct word order
fallen slowly
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, but the
number
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 of special
exhibition
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visitors
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 rose slightly by the end of the
period
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. And the total
number
Use synonyms
 consisted of 504,300.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words adult, visitors, exhibition, number, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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