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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the best way to become successful is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true

It is argued that achieving success is attributed to gaining knowledge from university,
while
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 others opine that
this
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 way is insufficient. Both ideas have their own truths in order to justify their opinions.
This
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 essay will explore these statements with clear examples before giving a personal point of view. On the one hand, paying attention to studying at the institution has been increasing among students, as many people believe that acquiring academic literacy is the best approach to becoming successful.
That is
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 to say, if individuals learn an education which is given by a college, they will receive a diploma and get a job that they want, and students will
also
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 receive a high salary. In the USA,
for instance
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, most students prefer to study at the popular universities,
such
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 as Cambridge, Harvard, even though the prices of these universities are extremely high, rather than working in a job that requires labour-intensive work.
Thus
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, becoming more successful is attributed to getting a college education.
On the other hand
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, learning from an educational institution's lessons might be insufficient to achieve accomplishment for individuals.
In other words
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, even if pupils study at the academy until finishing it, they will be unlikely to find a worthwhile job, as the proportion of the population which are knowledgeable has been rising.
According to
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 the research by scholars of the University of Canada that the number of unemployed people reached 60 per cent in the country
last
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 year, and more of them consisted of highly educated individuals.
Therefore
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, other people may advocate that education is not enough in order to become successful. In conclusion, both ideas have the right sides compared to each other. Given these proofs, I would say that studying has always been useful for our society;
however
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, we should not neglect the profits of manual jobs.

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clarity
Make your argument clearer by stating your own view in the body and link it to the prompt; avoid vague words.
accuracy
Check facts in examples; avoid wrong names or places. If you mention a country or university, be accurate.
paraphrase
Use simpler sentences and some paraphrase to keep the meaning easy.
structure
Clear plan with intro, two views, and a end.
cohesion
Link words like on the one hand and on the other hand are used.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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