IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favoring more computer-based subjects instead. Is this a positive or negative development? What are the reasons for this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift in
students
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’ preferences, with fewer opting to study
science
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 subjects and more choosing computer-based courses
such
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 as programming, data
science
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, and information technology.
While
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this
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 trend has some advantages, I believe it is largely a negative
development
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 for society. One of the main reasons
students
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 are moving away from
science
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 is the perception that computer-based subjects offer better career opportunities and higher salaries. In the modern job market, skills in software
development
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, cybersecurity, and artificial intelligence are in high demand,
whereas
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 traditional
science
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 degrees are often viewed as more theoretical and less directly applicable to well-paying jobs.
Additionally
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, computer-based courses are sometimes considered more flexible and creative, allowing
students
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 to work on real-world projects and start entrepreneurial ventures at an early stage.
However
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, the decline in
students
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 studying
science
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 could have serious long-term consequences. Scientific research and innovation underpin the
development
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 of healthcare, renewable energy, and advanced manufacturing. If fewer
students
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 pursue biology, chemistry, or physics, the future workforce may lack the expertise needed to address global challenges
such
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 as climate change, pandemics, and technological advancements in medicine.
For example
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, countries with strong
science
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 education systems, like Germany and South Korea, have been able to lead in innovation and maintain economic competitiveness. In conclusion,
while
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 the increasing interest in computer-based subjects reflects the evolving job market and technological opportunities, the reduction in
science
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 study is a negative
development
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overall
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. A balanced approach is essential, where
students
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 are encouraged to acquire both scientific knowledge and digital skills, ensuring a workforce capable of meeting the demands of the future.

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task
State your view clearly at the start and keep it steady through the essay.
task
Add more facts or numbers to back up your claim about jobs and pay.
coherence
Make the flow smoother with simple link words to move from idea to idea.
coherence
Use more short sentences to help the reader follow your thought.
coherence
Choose a few strong examples and explain how they show the point.
structure
Clear plan with an opening, body, and ending.
content
Good use of real world places as examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Career prospects
  • Digital innovation
  • Economic growth
  • Perceived as
  • Accessible
  • Practical fields
  • Traditional science fields
  • Expertise
  • Innovation
  • Environmental science
  • Integration of computer technologies
  • Primary field of study
  • Long-term implications
  • Research and development
  • Critical scientific areas
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