IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Advance in technology and automation have reduce the need of manual labour. Therefore working hoursshould be reduced. Do you agree or disagree?

Technological progress and automation have undeniably transformed the modern workplace, replacing many forms of manual labour with machines and intelligent systems. Some argue that
this
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 shift should naturally lead to shorter working
hours
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, allowing people to enjoy more leisure time. I strongly agree with
this
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 view, as reducing
work
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hours
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 would not only reflect the reality of increased
productivity
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 but
also
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 yield significant social and economic benefits. One compelling reason to shorten working
hours
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 is the dramatic rise in
productivity
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 driven by technology. Modern machinery, robotics, and artificial intelligence can perform repetitive tasks with greater speed, precision, and reliability than human workers.
As a result
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, many industries can now produce the same or greater output with far fewer labour
hours
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. Maintaining outdated
work
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 schedules in
such
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 a context risks creating underemployment, burnout, and inefficiency. A reduced workweek would ensure that
productivity
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 gains translate into improved quality of life for employees rather than being absorbed solely as corporate profit.
In addition
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, fewer working
hours
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 can foster healthier, more balanced lifestyles. Excessive
work
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 has been linked to stress-related illnesses, reduced mental well-being, and strained family relationships. By freeing up time for personal interests, family life, and community engagement, societies can cultivate a more
content
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contented
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 and cohesive population.
Furthermore
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, countries like Sweden and Iceland, which have experimented with shorter workweeks, have reported not only higher worker satisfaction but
also
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 stable or even improved
productivity
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 levels, suggesting that long
hours
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 are not synonymous with economic success. Critics may argue that reducing working
hours
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 could harm economic growth or business competitiveness.
However
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,
such
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 concerns often overlook the adaptability of modern economies. With a shorter workweek, companies could restructure shifts, employ more workers to cover reduced
hours
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, and focus on high-value tasks that require human creativity and decision-making
—
Punctuation problem
,
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areas where machines still struggle. In
this
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 way, automation can complement human skills rather than displace them entirely. In conclusion, technological advancements have rendered long working
hours
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 increasingly unnecessary. By reducing
work
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 time in line with rising
productivity
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, societies can enhance well-being, preserve economic stability, and ensure that the benefits of progress are shared more equitably. A shorter workweek is not merely desirable—it is a logical and fair response to the realities of the modern age.

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task response
State your view clearly at the start and keep it in mind through the essay.
task response
Add one or two exact facts or figures to back each big point.
coherence
Keep ideas in clear order. Use simple steps: idea, example, result.
coherence
Use clear link words to show the flow between points, like first, next, then, finally.
position
Clear view and strong belief
linking
Good use of link words like In addition and However
evidence
Solid real examples from real places

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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