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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. the table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. the table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s
The provided pie chart illustrates the major causes
of
Change preposition
apply
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why
farmhouse
Fix the agreement mistake
farmhouses
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becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
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 less effective. The table depicts how these reasons influenced the three areas of the world during the late 20th century
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen from the first graph that the highest indicator was in over-grazing .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, from the graph we can see that the highest results were in Europe in total land
degraded
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degradation
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. Moving onto the details,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
part
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apply
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of the pie chart was in over-grazing with 35
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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. Other higher
indicates
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indicators
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 were
in
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apply
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deforestation and over-cultivation, with around 29 %. The lowest results were in other causes, with approximately seven
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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. Regarding the table graph in Europe,
Correct pronoun usage
it
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had the highest percentages in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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deforestation and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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over-cultivation
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 more than 8
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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,
Punctuation problem
. Additionally
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Linking Words
additionally
Punctuation problem
additionally,
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 in total, land
degraded
Replace the word
degradation
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also
Linking Words
 had the highest indicator with 23 %.
However
Linking Words
, Oceania had the highest results in over-grazing with 11,3
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Oceania's indicators
in
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for
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over-cultivation
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the lowest
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 zero
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 , North America had the lowest percentages in total land
degraded
Replace the word
degradation
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 and
in
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apply
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deforestation.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Deforestation
  • Over-cultivation
  • Overgrazing
  • Soil erosion
  • Nutrient depletion
  • Land degradation
  • Soil compaction
  • Fertility
  • Preventive measures
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic implications
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