Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development. Others think it is important for children to attend school. Discuss the advantages of both views and give your own opinion.

There has been an ongoing debate about whether parents should let children study at

home

Use synonyms

or school. I firmly believe that

although

Linking Words

both sides offer some benefits, encouraging children to attend

institute

Fix the agreement mistake

institutes

show examples

seems more appealing. On the one hand, studying at

academy

Correct article usage

an academy

show examples

may help children gain relevant and advanced knowledge. To clarify, university curricula were carefully designed and censored in order to provide valuable information which is actually helpful and highly academic for

students

Use synonyms

in their study path.

As a result

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

may be able to access a broader opportunity pool which fosters their personal growth.

For instance

Linking Words

, science or social subjects -

such

Linking Words

as literature and math - are well-organized so as to help

students

Use synonyms

collect fundamental knowledge which is highly demanded in their dream jobs.

On the other hand

Linking Words

home

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

may allow

students

Use synonyms

to become flexible in approaching diverse knowledge.

In other words

Linking Words

, syllabuses and lessons are not restricted to a certain range, so

students

Use synonyms

can be taught about world facts that they would not be covered in school by attending household extracurricular activities. As a direct result, they gain more experience

as well as

Linking Words

deeper insights into social skills or progress, these are great advantages compared to others.

For example

Linking Words

, In Japan, a study suggests that individuals who are taught at

home

Use synonyms

perform better than their peers when it comes to realistic and practical tasks. In my opinion, driving young people to go to school is more beneficial, even if

education

Use synonyms

home

Use synonyms

shows its merit.

This

Linking Words

is because if teenagers take part in mainstream schools, the interactions and collaboration between them and their friends or teachers will be promoted.

This

Linking Words

situation yields a benefit in that it cultivates a more cooperative and innovative environment which makes

students

Use synonyms

become more team-orientated, proactive,

as well as

Linking Words

inclusive. These qualities help

students

Use synonyms

easily embrace diversity, and

then

Linking Words

they can be more productive in their work

due to

Linking Words

interpersonal involvement. In conclusion, both sides some some truth, yet participating in schools delivers substantial benefits which are about encourage

students

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' engagement and trustworthy, advanced

education

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, regardless of practical experience from apartment

education

Use synonyms

Arni Aqlina

Jun 9, 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction presents both views, but try to make your opinion clearer from the start. Use phrases like 'In my view' clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has a main idea, but improve your connections between sentences for better flow. Use linking words like 'however' or 'in addition'.

task achievement

Some examples were relevant, but ensure they are directly connected to your argument. Explain how they support your point.

task achievement

You present a clear opinion in the essay, which is important for task achievement.

task achievement

You include examples from Japan which add depth to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

352 words

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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development. Others think it is important for children to attend school. Discuss the advantages of both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nations. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that online education can only supplement and enhance traditional classroom-based education while others are sure that online education is good by itself. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

Many things that used to be done in the house by hand, are now being done by machines, Does this development brings more advantages or disadvantages?