Some people think that sports stars earn too much money, while others believe they deserve their high salaries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is true that
sports
Use synonyms
stars usually earn millions of dollars every year, much higher than other professions like doctors, teachers or civil servants. The debate over whether they are overpaid or deserve the substantial salaries has sparked significant attention. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss both perspectives and present my opinions.
To begin
Linking Words
with, top athletes possess exceptional talents and extraordinary skills, and they are the key factor behind the
sports
Use synonyms
industry, which generates billions of dollars each year.
For example
Linking Words
, their presence in matches draws hundreds of enthusiastic fans to buy expensive tickets. Except for ticketing, they
also
Linking Words
earn money through advertising, and the
sports
Use synonyms
leagues make revenues through sponsorship and so on.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
serve as role models for many individuals, influencing society in many positive ways.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, they deserve the high compensation they get now.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that elite
sports
Use synonyms
players are overpaid as their contribution to society is disproportionate to their incomes.
For example
Linking Words
, professionals in other fields like education, health care and civil services earn much less than these athletes , even though their roles are more vital to society , as teachers cultivate the next generation, doctors and nurses save lives , and civil servants provide all sorts of services.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are concerns over their extravagant lifestyle , as recent reports have shed light on their purchasing of luxury cars and even private jets. The allure of a lavish lifestyle may distract them from the rigorous training needed to achieve their goals on the
sports
Use synonyms
field. In conclusion, I think the salaries of
sports
Use synonyms
stars are justified
due to
Linking Words
their natural talents and the important role they play in the
sports
Use synonyms
industry.
However
Linking Words
, they should
also
Linking Words
be mindful about their reputation and not let the allure of a lavish lifestyle compromise their commitment to achieving success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Add more balance. Show both sides with fair talk, then give your own view clearly.
content
Add clear and real examples tied to the topic, not only general claims.
language
Fix awkward phrases like 'Except for ticketing' to simpler words like 'Besides ticket sales'.
structure
Use more link words to show contrast and flow, like but, however, also, in addition.
language
Shorten long sentences and break ideas into two parts to ease reading.
content
The writer gives both views and a personal opinion in the end.
structure
Intro and conclusion show work at a good level.
language
Some good examples are used to back claims.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: