IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT IN A CITY, THE BEAST WAY TO TRAVEL BY CAR, WHILE OTHER PEOPLE ARGUE THAT BICYCLES ARE A BETTER WAY OF TRAVELING IN A CITY. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Some people think that the
use
Use synonyms
 of cars is the best way to travel in a city,
whereas
Linking Words
 others
belive
Use the right word
believe
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 that the best alternative to move is using
bicylces
Correct your spelling
bicycles
.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 think it is relative
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 short essay,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both positions
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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then
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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i'm
Fix capitalization
I'm
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 going to give my point of view.
To begin
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 with,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 agree with the fact that cars and
motorized
Use the right word
motorised
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 vehicles are very
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 when it comes to
move
Wrong verb form
moving
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 fast and
travel
Verb problem
travelling
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 in a
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 way, as well
if
Correct word choice
as if
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 you have to carry a lot of things with you. Normally, people have the bad habit
to over
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
use
Verb problem
overusing
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 their cars all the time, even if it is for short and unnecessary
travels
Check wording
trips
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.
On the other hand
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, the
use
Use synonyms
 of bicycles or
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 eco-friendly transport
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a very good option too, because
are
Correct pronoun usage
they are
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 more
economic
Replace the word
economical
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 and
also
Linking Words
contributed
Wrong verb form
contribute
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 to sustainability.
Furthermore
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, a recent studio of the university of Columbia
shown
Wrong verb form
University showed
show examples
 that 8 out of 10 workers
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
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 to
use
Use synonyms
 their
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 to avoid the morning
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 and move faster to their jobs. The study
also
Linking Words
revelated
Verb problem
revealed
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 that car users were very upset about paying expenses associated with their vehicles. Personally, I think there is no best means of transport, but it will depend on the reason for using it and the frequency with which it is used. For a long trip or to deal with an unexpected event, it is of course better to
use
Use synonyms
 the car, but to go,
for example
Linking Words
, to see a friend who lives nearby or to buy bread at the corner, the most logical thing would be to
use
Use synonyms
 the bicycle. In conclusion, no way of
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
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 better than the other
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 whether the best option for making the trip is by car or bike will depend on the reason and the context for the trip, since both have their pros and cons.

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grammar/vocabulary
Check spelling of common words (believe, bicycles, traffic, study) and fix mistakes that make meaning unclear.
sentence structure
Break long ideas into short sentences for ease of reading.
task response
Make your view clear in the introduction so the reader knows your position from the start.
coherence
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and use a simple topic sentence to start it.
content
Add more simple examples or facts to back up points, if possible.
content
You cover both sides of the issue and state your own view.
structure
There is a basic plan: intro, body, and conclusion.
style
The essay uses common words and easy sentences, which helps readers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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