IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

We cannot help everyone who needs help in the world, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that we should not help
people
Use synonyms
 in
countries
Use synonyms
 as long as there are problems in our own society. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because I believe that we should try to help as many
people
Use synonyms
 as possible. I accept that it is to help our neighbours and fellow citizens. In most communities, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who are impoverished or disadvantaged in some way. It is possible to find homeless
people
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, in even the wealthiest cities, and for those who are concerned about
this
Linking Words
 problem, there are usually opportunities to volunteer time or donate money to support these
people
Use synonyms
. In the UK,
people
Use synonyms
 can help in a variety of ways, from offering clothing to serve free food in a soup kitchen. As the problems are on our doorstep, and there are obvious ways to help, I can understand why some
people
Use synonyms
 feel that we should prioritise local charity. In the meantime, I would argue that we
also
Linking Words
 have an obligation to help those who live beyond our national borders. In some
countries
Use synonyms
, the problems that
people
Use synonyms
 face are much more serious than those in our own communities, and it is often even easier to help.
For example
Linking Words
, when children are dying from curable diseases in African
countries
Use synonyms
, governments and individuals in richer
countries
Use synonyms
 can save lives simply by paying for vaccines that already exist. A small donation to an international charity might have a much greater impact than helping in our local area. In summary, it is true that we cannot help everyone, but in my opinion, national boundaries should not stop us from helping those who are in need.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improvement
Link ideas in a smooth flow. Use small join words like 'and', 'but', 'also' so one idea moves to the next.
improvement
Give more clear detail for each point to show more depth on both sides.
improvement
Finish with a strong line that restates your view.
strength
The writer shows a clear view on the issue.
strength
The essay uses examples from both local and world level.
strength
There are two body parts and a short end, which shows good form.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: