Some people think that there will be decrease in international travel in future. Do you think the less amount of international travel is a positive or a negative development?

A few
people
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believe that foreign
travel
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visits will go down in the upcoming days.
This
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essay will discuss both positive and negative development. On the one hand, going abroad for a tour is expected to decrease in the near future.
As a result
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,
people
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can not explore other nations' culture, their history.
This
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can lead to restricting their knowledge and
also
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,
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apply
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the enjoyment.
Moreover
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, the
travel
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and tourism which plays a vital role in any country's GDP, can be hampered to a huge level. because of
this
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,
people
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who depend on
travel
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and tourism can lead to lose their income.
For example
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, in Kenya, a
travel
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research was conducted, and the research found that around 1000 tourists visited
last
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year.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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think there will be a decrease in foreign
travel
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in the future.
As a consequence
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,
people
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can save a lot of money on their expenditure on international
travel
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and can invest that money in other local tour packages.
Furthermore
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,
this
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development will create a strong opportunity to explore their own country's state,
along with
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its history and culture.
For instance
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,
people
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will get more time to explore their whole nation as well, and it will be cheaper to
travel
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in comparison to foreign
travel
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. In conclusion, I believe that there are both positive and negative impacts on international
travel
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,
such
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as
people
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can enjoy more with their family in their own nation, and they will lose a chance to visit a new country.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the sentence structure for better flow.
task achievement
You included both positive and negative sides of the topic, which shows a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your points well, making it clear what you believe.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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