IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

With the
development
Use synonyms
 of
one
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 specific
country
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, many residents from other countries prefer to move into the
country
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 for many reasons,
such
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 as education and socioeconomic
.
Check wording
factors.
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It is clear that
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 excessive migration can pose
positive
Correct pronoun usage
both positive
show examples
 and negative aspects.
This
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 essay will illustrate both
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks of migration for individuals and for the whole
society
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. On the
one
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 hand, there are plenty of merits for
migrates
Replace the word
migrants
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 and their
society
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 in
one
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country
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.
Firstly
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, the economic
development
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 will experience a significant improvement if a large number of foreigners migrate
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
one
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country
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.
For example
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, many new
migrates
Replace the word
migrants
show examples
 take their finance and skills to the community
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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foster
Correct subject-verb agreement
fosters
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 the social and economic
development
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 in the immigration
country
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.
In addition
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, those migrant people are normally from different cultural backgrounds
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can directly promote cultural
development
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.
For example
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, Australia has multicultural backgrounds, and the cultural diversity atmosphere is extremely inclusive and welcoming.
On the other hand
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, numerous drawbacks should be considered at both
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
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 and
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society
Replace the word
societal
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 levels. Specifically, large numbers of population
come
Wrong verb form
coming
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 to
one
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country
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 could make the local job market competitive, and it would be challenging for local residents in accessing to
employment
Verb problem
access employment
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. Meanwhile, the original
country
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 would
loss
Replace the word
lose
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 plenty of skilled workers and have a negative impact on
overall
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development
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.
The another
Correct determiner usage
Another
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disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
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 is that housing issues can be another problem for the
country
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may increase the rate of homelessness.
Therefore
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, governments and the public should consider immigration from both sides. In conclusion, having sufficient finances and feeling inclusive play a crucial role for the individual and the
society
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,
whereas
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 some drawbacks cannot be omitted,
such
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 as employment and housing issues.

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grammar
Fix grammar by using the noun 'migrant' instead of 'migrates'.
style
Use short, clear lines. Break long sentences into two.
structure
Make one clear idea per paragraph and use learning words like 'first', 'also', 'but','however' to join ideas.
content
Give more clear examples and details on how migration helps or hurts people and the land.
grammar
Check spelling and word choice; use simple, exact words.
content
The topic is good and you try to show both good and bad sides.
example
You add an example about Australia to show a point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Migrate
  • Immigrant
  • Emigrant
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Expatriate
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Naturalization
  • Work permit
  • Visa
  • Residence
  • Citizenship
  • Deportation
  • Brain drain
  • Demographic
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural shock
  • Social network
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