IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

nowadays many people are working remotely if they have chance do advantages can outweigh disadvantages?

In modern life, a
lot
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 of individuals are working online if they have the opportunity.I absolutely think that working remotely has more disadvantages than benefits , and
this
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 is because of many reasons.
For instance
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, it can reduce
people
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's ability to communicate with others, and
also
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 make
people
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 lazy.
Furthermore
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, working at home can lead to a significant decrease in
people
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's communication skills.
For example
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, many humans will be less confident in starting a conversation with other humans.
Whereas
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,
people
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 who go out and
work
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 in their office interact with different individuals. And
this
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 will lead to a
lot
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 of
issues
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 like low self-esteem and anxiety
.
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,
show examples
which can make working harder and more difficult for them.
Also
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, working remotely can make us more lazy and less productive because all day we sit in our
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 doing our
work
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 without any effort.
In contrast
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 with
people
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 who walk, sit , and use their brains more and talk with a
lot
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 of
people
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 in their
work
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 environment, we can see that those
people
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 are more energetic and happy . There is an experiment that shows that
people
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 who
work
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 remotely have more
issues
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 in their physical health , like a pain in their back and a
lot
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 more than
people
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 who
work
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 in an office, because they don't move their muscles as often. In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages of working online overweight the advantages. Because working online leads to a variety of mental
issues
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 and lower productivity. Meanwhile, individuals who
work
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 in an office are happier and energetic.
Also
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, have fewer physical problems
,
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apply
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 and
issues
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 than
people
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 who
work
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 at home.

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structure
Plan a short intro that states the topic and your view, and say what you will cover.
task
Discuss both sides more, not only the bad side. Give both good and bad points.
coherence
Use more small links to join ideas and keep the flow even. Use words like first, also, but, so.
examples
Give clear facts or simple numbers to back up ideas.
content
The writer has a clear view on the topic.
content
There are examples about health and talk in life.
structure
There are contrasts between home and office to show ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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