Some poeple claim that it is unfair to have same age limit in every work.Do you agree or disagree?

#poeple #age #limit #work

In workplaces,there is a certain

age

restriction and when

people

reach that

age

,they get a pension and leave their

jobs

.Some

people

assert that each work should be given an

age

limit in order to its difficulty level totally agree with

this

statement. First and Foremost,

jobs

deviate from each other because of their physical requirement.

For example

,there are some occupations

such

as construction or engineering that demand physical power.After a certain

age

,employees lose their ability to do their job effectively in these occupations.İn

this

case,

age

limitation in these

jobs

should be low compared to the others.

Furthermore

,we can see many

jobs

in our lives based on a sedentary lifestyle.Regardless of their

age

,employees can perform in a better way.

For instance

,in office work,

people

have an aptitude for doing their

jobs

at every

age

However

,when they reach the

age

restriction,they are obliged to leave,ultimately leading to a loss of skills in workplaces.

On the other hand

,it is thought by some

people

that it is unfair to put different

age

limits for every job.Some of the employees work in a shirt term than others and it results in discrimination.İ partially agree with

this

perspective.

However

,it is necessary to acknowledge that to prevent the loss of talent problem ,Governments should levy restrictions on occupations based on their physical demand. Taking into everything account,

Although

some assert that having the same retirement

age

plays a crucial role in thwarting unfairness,İ consider that as

jobs

require different levels of physical power,the state officials should impose different regulations for every job.

Submitted by writingbhos on Sat Mar 23 2024

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task achievement

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is supported by specific examples or explanations. While the essay addresses the topic, enhancing the specificity of examples will strengthen the argument.

coherence and cohesion

Focus on the logical flow of ideas within and between paragraphs. The essay is generally well-organized, but some points could be more clearly connected to support the overall argument.

coherence and cohesion

Consider a wider range of linking phrases and paragraph structures to improve the fluency of your writing and make the logical connections between ideas even clearer.

language accuracy

Review the use of articles, prepositions, and punctuation to improve grammatical accuracy and enhance clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

249 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some poeple claim that it is unfair to have same age limit in every work.Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents send their children to preschool when they are three or four years old. Other parents wait until their children are old enough for primary school before they send them to school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool at a young age.

Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion.