IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph gives information about how many shops
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 closed and opened in
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 country from 2011 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
closures
Use synonyms
 and openings decreased, but
closing
Verb problem
the number of
show examples
shop
Use synonyms
closures
Use synonyms
 was the highest over the given period. As the graph shows, at the beginning, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
closures
Use synonyms
 was around 6,500 in 2011, followed by a small decrease to 6,000 in 2011.
Then
Linking Words
, it experienced a slight increase to about 7,100 in 2013.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
closures
Use synonyms
 declined significantly to 800 in 2015, followed by a sharp rise to 5,200 in 2016. After that, it remained stable rate of 5,200. Regarding the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
 openings was common, starting at 8,500, but
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 by 2012, it showed a gradual decrease to 4,000.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it rose gradually to about 6,200 in 2014, followed by a small fall to 4,000 again in 2015, and it continued stable rate until 2017.
However
Linking Words
, it fell to 3,000 in 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shop, closures with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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