Large companies often use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It has been observed that
sports
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events
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are being used by big commercial companies to promote their business. It is argued that advertising
products
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at
such
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events
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has a negative impact on athletics. I disagree with the given notion to a large extent,
however
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thorough analysis of the given standpoint is necessary to validate my perspective. Emphasising the possible factors in favour of advertising goods at
sports
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events
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, the major one could be getting monetary help. To be precise, when successful businesses join the
sports
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leagues, they invest a large amount of money in games, which takes
sports
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to national and international levels.
Thus
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, it attracts more and more people toward
such
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activities. Not only
this
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, Advertising branded
products
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in games leagues offers benefits to both companies and organisers.
This
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means producers get stuff for free from brands like suits, sneakers and even equipment
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
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.
Therefore
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, they can save money for other purposes;
whereas
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, brands get more popularity as today's generation easily gets influenced by
sports
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celebrities.
Thus
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, business owners earn more profit.
Conversely
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, there are some facts which prove that using
sports
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events
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to promote non-
sports
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products
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can lead to a negative trend.
This
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means
, involvement
Correct word choice
that, involvement
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of corporate organisations, especially with questionable reputations,
such
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as online gambling firms, sponsoring
events
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or teams, can lead to controversies and damage public trust.
Moreover
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, advertising alcoholic
products
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or casino games at athletic
events
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can leave a bad impact on the youth's mind.
As a result
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, people might suffer later.
Lastly
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, it is concluded that no doubt involvement of some corporations can create trust issues in society;
nevertheless
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, the benefits of these promotions are comparatively greater.

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development
Be clear about your main idea in every paragraph and keep a steady line of argument.
coherence
Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that shows the point. Use links to move from one idea to the next.
accuracy
Fix grammar and word use. Short, simple sentences help a lot. Check punctuation and spelling.
examples
Give real examples or facts that back your claim. Do not rely only on general ideas.
stance
You show a clear view that you disagree with the idea overall.
structure
The essay has three parts: intro, body, and ending, and you use some link words.
content
Some good ideas about money and trust issues are given.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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