The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The growing population of overweight individuals is creating mounting pressure on medical services to manage weight-related conditions. Some argue that a practical solution is to include additional sports and health-focused lessons in school programs. I fully support

this

Linking Words

view, as introducing structured fitness and wellness education at an early stage encourages lifelong healthy practices and reduces future health risks. On one hand, some people contend that lifestyle decisions ultimately depend on personal determination. Even with sufficient knowledge, many still ignore their

wellbeing

Use the right word

well-being

show examples

if they lack willpower.

For instance

Linking Words

, numerous adults continue to consume fast food and avoid regular workouts despite understanding the consequences.

This

Linking Words

highlights that discipline is a crucial factor in adopting healthier routines, and information alone may not guarantee positive outcomes.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, integrating structured physical training into academic timetables equips children with the awareness and habits needed to remain fit. By encouraging students to exercise consistently and reduce their intake of processed snacks and sugary drinks, schools can help lower obesity rates and prevent complications

such

Linking Words

as cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, regular movement not only eliminates excess fat but

also

Linking Words

improves mental resilience, which in turn motivates learners to stay active. From my perspective, early exposure to balanced nutrition and fitness education lays a strong foundation for sustainable behaviour. If learners are guided from childhood, they are far more likely to maintain a healthy lifestyle as adults. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

self-motivation plays a role in wellbeing, embedding compulsory health and exercise lessons in school curricula is the most effective method of tackling obesity. Governments and education authorities should

therefore

Linking Words

prioritize

Use the right word

prioritise

show examples

these programs, as

this

Linking Words

proactive approach will relieve pressure on hospitals

while

Linking Words

fostering a healthier generation.

pretwice42

Aug 20, 2025

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task response

Your view is clear. You state why schools should add health and physical work.

task response

Add a simple plan. Say how many hours, what topics, and how you show progress.

coherence

The parts fit well. Try to keep one main idea in each part.

coherence

Use more links to show flow. Use words like also, next, but, so.

task response

Clear view and full answer.

coherence

Good order and many linking words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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