IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, many people believe that technology has made working from home easier and more efficient, while others think it has caused more stress and less collaboration among colleagues. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The advent of the internet and other technological advancements has led companies across the globe to adopt a remote working style for their
employees
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.
While
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 some argue that it has made
employees
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’ lives easier, others believe that it has increased stress and reduced collaboration among peers.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate on both of these views and will provide my opinion in the conclusion. The
employees
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 can benefit in several ways by working from home. The predominant gain is no daily commute to
work
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. Since the
employees
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 will
work
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 from the comfort of their homes, they will not waste any time in traffic, transit, and pollution.
This
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 has a direct impact on their productivity, as it helps them to keep calm and relax.
Additionally
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, it
also
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 enhances their mood.
However
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, the downside of
this
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 should not be overlooked, as it could cause some serious impacts on the company’s
overall
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 performance. The most significant drawback is the communication gap.
Although
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 the technology allows workers to collaborate with their colleagues online, it has its limitations.
For example
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, the Mechanical Engineers often
work
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 on designing large assemblies with multiple sub-assemblies; they seldom feel that their message in an online meeting is not fully conveyed to others.
Consequently
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, it led to endless revisions on every assembly, ultimately delaying the project and exceeding the budget.
This
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 can
also
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 cause high-level stress as they are always under pressure to
work
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 at a faster pace.
To conclude
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 and provide my opinion, I think that the
employees
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 benefit from the technological advancements that allow them to
work
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 from home.
However
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, the
employees
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 should only
work
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 from home once every few weeks for a change;
otherwise
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, they should go to the office, as it will allow them to
work
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 seamlessly with their colleagues.

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structure
Make topic sentence start each paragraph to state its main idea.
coherence
Link ideas clearly with connect words like also, however, in addition.
content
Add more real examples or facts to support points.
content
Be exact about your own view in the end to show a strong opinion.
language
Check grammar and shorten long sentences for easy read.
content
The essay covers both sides of the issue.
structure
There is a clear conclusion that gives opinion.
content
There are examples to support the point about work from home.
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