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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts bellow give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts bellow give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
The
givne
Correct your spelling
given
 table and pie charts depict the data about how the British
police
Use synonyms
 had been funded and spent money in 2017 and 2018.
Linking Words
overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
natrional
Correct your spelling
national
 government was the main source of money for
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
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budget
Use synonyms
 in both years,
folloing
Correct your spelling
followed
 by local taxes,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest amount of
budget
Use synonyms
 was earned from other sources.
This
Linking Words
budget
Use synonyms
 was spent on three different categories,
which
Use the right word
with
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 salaries
had
Wrong verb form
having
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 the biggest share.
National
Correct article usage
The national
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 government funded the
police
Use synonyms
 the most with 175.5 in 2017,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
 figure
had
Verb problem
rose
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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slight
Replace the word
slightly
show examples
 rise with 177 in 2018. Local taxes, as a second source of funding, dedicated 91.5 m in 2017
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
this
Linking Words
 amount rose to 102. The
budget
Use synonyms
dificit
Correct your spelling
deficit
,
however
Linking Words
, was supplied by other sources,
such
Linking Words
 as grants which witnessed the lowest
incline
Use the right word
decline
show examples
fron
Correct your spelling
from
 38 in 2017 to 38.5 in 2018. In 2017,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
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 the largest proportion of
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 expenditure was on officers and staff
salariea
Correct your spelling
salaries
 accounted for
three quarters
Use the right word
three-quarters
show examples
 of total spending, which
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
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 to 69% in 2018,
this
Linking Words
 figure was the lowest for technology
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 a moderate rise from 8% in 2017 to 14% in 2018.
police
Use synonyms
 spending on buildings and transport stood at 17% in 2017 and
remaind unchaned
Correct your spelling
remained unchanged
 following year.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words police, budget with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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