Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in the city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some
individuals
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view that
cars
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are the most effective means of transportation for travelling within the city,
while
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some argue that bicycles are better. In my view, automobiles offer the greatest benefits for city sightseeing, particularly because they can accommodate people from a broad range of ages.
Individuals
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living with extended family members often prefer
cars
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as their mode of transportation
due to
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their spacious capacity and convenience. A car can carry several passengers, typically three to five people,
along with
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personal belongings.
This
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makes automobiles ideal for families travelling with elderly relatives, infants or
individuals
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with limited mobility, as they provide safety, practicality and protection from adverse weather conditions.
For example
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, more than 50% of Indonesians use
cars
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to accommodate their families during holidays,
due to
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their practicality and extended capacity to carry large family groups.
On the other hand
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, bicycles are chosen by some communities for their affordability and health benefits. Indeed, they require no fuel, making them a cost-effective and environmentally friendly option compared to private vehicles or public transport.
Moreover
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, cycling improves cardiovascular fitness, boosts metabolism and reduces body fat.
According to
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a journal published by the University of Indonesia, regular cycling for an hour can lengthen people’s lifespan by around 5 years and increase muscle mass by 10%.
Overall
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,
while
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bicycles are
great
Correct article usage
a great
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choice for short trips and health-conscious
individuals
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,
cars
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are a more versatile means of transportation to accommodate diverse groups of travellers from a variety of ages. I believe
cars
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remain the best option
to travel
Change preposition
for travelling
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in the city
due to
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their convenience and comfort.

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task response
In future, add more clear links to show how each point supports your view. Tie each fact to the idea you make.
task response
Some facts are not very clear or needed. Use facts that are easy to trust and explain how they help your view.
coherence
Use short, clear sentences. Do not try to say too much in one long line.
task response
Clear view and good start
coherence
Good use of contrast to show both sides
task response
Reasonable support with family and health points

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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