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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the per capita consumption of whole milk and low-fat milk in the United States between 1970 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the per capita consumption of whole milk and low-fat milk in the United States between 1970 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph depicts the intake of whole
milk
Use synonyms
 and low
milk
Use synonyms
 per capita in the United States, between the time period of 1970 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the consumption of whole
milk
Use synonyms
 amongst the capita steadily decreased over the course of 45 years,
wheres
Use the right word
whereas
show examples
 the proportion of low-fat
milk
Use synonyms
 gradually increased
upto
Use the right word
up to
show examples
1990
Punctuation problem
1990,
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 after which it reached a plateau. On one hand, whole
milk
Use synonyms
 was taken in the largest
during
Check wording
quantity during
show examples
 1970, starting at approximately 25 gallons.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the following
ten year
Use the right word
ten-year
show examples
 time
periods
Punctuation problem
periods,
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 the trend dropped
almost by
Correct word order
by almost
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 5% until
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 it was met by a decline of 3% and 2% for the years of 2010 and
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
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 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was an equally constant trend in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of low-fat
milk
Use synonyms
, which saw a per capita consumption of roughly 7% in the year 1970.
Consecutively
Rephrase
Consequently
show examples
, the rate of consumption was 10 gallons
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
1980
Punctuation problem
1980,
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 following a rise
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 14 gallons, before reaching a stable trend till 2010. Afterwards, there was a tiny dip
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1% from 2010 to 2015.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • comparison
  • preference
  • significant
  • decline
  • rise
  • trend
  • gradual
  • surpass
  • pattern
  • shift
  • healthier options
  • approximately
  • amount
  • between
  • overall
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